Saturday, November 20, 2010

You just had to eat didn't you?

Well I tried,
I held out as long as I could. I went clothes shopping today, I found a lot of nice things, inspired by all of the size 2 jeans in my cart and my size (S) shirts, not to mention a smaller bra size 34C, and (S) underwear too, I thought I could continue the day binge free.
I was wrong.
My husband picks me up from the store and proceeds to tell me that he and my daughter have had a huge, yummy breakfast.
I don't know why, but the first thing to pop out of my fat mouth was-
wow you didn't think to invite me or bring something back?
So now we're passing by a fast food joint and they have 2 for 3$ sandwiches and I make a comment that I would like to eat that since I missed out on the breakfast extraordinaire..
"But you don't even eat, you sure you want that?" my husband laughs at me and raises his eyebrow in suspicion.
Yes I'm going to eat it..just later.
Yeah much later when no ones around. It never occurred to me that I no longer eat in front of others anymore. As a matter of fact, the other night when I actually ate in front of my husband was the first time I'd done that in long time. My behavior has become odd. I am odd.
Eating has become an freak show and I am the bearded binging lady..
Gather round folks she's about to take a bite!
So the little devils are bought for future consumption.

Now in the meantime, I'm trying my best to not cave, yes the food is there, but I could easily put it away and forget it all together, which is what I do, for now.
I clean my car, occupy myself as best I can.
Then I remember dinner, ah yes time to feed the little person that's attached to my hip.
I defrost ground beef and make rice.


White Rice

My daughter is starving and the time for my husband to go to work has now lapsed. I am alone!
I can't resist anymore, the dinner the sandwiches, tea and something else I can't remember, it was sweet that much I can recall.
Mia has made her debut.
I go at it really hard, the strain is back.
I get ready to workout and I can't stop yawning, my goodness yawn yawn yawn.
Lazy workout only 500 calories burned Boo!
I'm still yawning. I feel sleepy.
No energy whatsoever. Oh, lax tonight.
Yeah let's dehydrate properly shall we.
My daughter is soaking in the tub and my stomach is gurgling, hope this doesn't take all night. I have to see my sister in law tomorrow. I hope I feel better, not too dizzy. There are dirty dishes in the sink and a rug that needs vacuming. I feel fat, lazy and ugly.
Ugh why did I cave?
I think I need a new diet pill, this OEP ain't cutting it.
I need suggestions, anything that's not Stacker, Hydroxycut or OxyElite Pro, oh or Alli, I don't much care for a greasy orange dripping asshole (lmfao- TMI) or so I've heard..
I just need to glue my mouth shut, never speak again.
I'm sorry for any yawning caused by reading this post..
I have to go now, going to try and muster up enough energy to clean what I can and put my kid to bed, then I'm off to bed myself, I have a very long night ahead of me.
I hope Sunday is better.


Lichen said...

You said it. I've heard too many horror stories of public leakage to ever trusy Alli.

Seems like green tea pills are popular with our crowd, the EGCG, but drinking oolong with meals would block carbohydrates and increase metabolism more directly. I read a glowing review of Thermolift on a pro-ana site ages ago.

Avani said...

wow. normally the food porn would trigger a binge of my own, but I just cleaned a whole bunch of nasty pots and the kitchen. New trick to do before reading blogs!

*Broken* said...

Idk the names in english for diet pills, so I can´t help, sorry.
That food would trigger everybody to binge, try not to worry too much about it sweetie.
I don´t eat in front of people either, it makes me very anxious.
I hope today is a better day for you =)

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