She's done with tests this week and will even have a substitute teacher and no real curriculum, surely she can miss a day. Her dad pulls this stunt all the time, there even came a point not too long ago where she missed practically every Monday!
I woke up with the best intentions to work on my novel today but instead found myself napping until noon.
The truth is I've written myself into a corner. I keep reading the chapter from the beginning and it's of no help. I actually hate everything. That's the problem isn't it?
If I can't find anything redeeming about the chapter then how can I possibly continue forward.
I found an outline I came up with a few months back and that didn't help matters either. I had high hopes for this opus of mines.
You have no idea how frustrated I am, how disappointed I am with myself.
Novel life? Real life? Confused are you?
As the lovely Anais Nin once put it "We write to taste life twice."
I have lots of voices in my head, and none of them know what the fuck they're talking about. I'm surrounded by idiots.
Getting up at 6am every morning is tiring. The long hot hour drive in my car during the crowded morning commute is dreadful.
You never realized your distaste for other human beings until you're late for work.
In all fairness I've been driving slow these days keeping it under 50mph, one of my tires is bad so steering wheel shakes on misshapen tire rotation. Hauling ass just doesn't feel the same.
I get asked this ALL the time. Now come on lady or man depending on what day it is, You see me here all the time at the same time as you, does this not answer your question??
I slowly and sadly walk all the way to the back of the store towards the Pharmacy where my awkward doom awaits me.
The Dragon and I are at a bit of a tiff.
See I'm still pissed at her for writing me up for not going to work that one Sunday, although I did call her and tell her that. Suddenly it's my fault that she can't find coverage. Back in my day when I was once a store manager, if one of my employees didn't show up for a shift,then that meant I would have to drag my ass out of bed and catch the train to work. Nowadays you get written up and your manager bitches and complains but doesn't cover a shift on their day off.
So there's an awkwardness that's been lingering in the pharmacy ever since then. She felt awkward having to bring up my attendance performance, and I just hate her guts for being a twenty something, spoiled little mama's girl and annoying twit.
We hardly have conversations anymore or look at each other.
On Monday I didn't hate her guts as much and so work was busy but bearable.
Tuesday was the same, plus we had other people as buffers. BUFFERS are great because we can talk to each other without having to really talk. We use the buffers as a common thing to listen to instead of each other.
On Wednesday it was decent. I got to work with my new coworker who's replacing someone whose moving to Minnesota.
My new coworker is nice, so far, I mean he's still new, give it time and bitterness and he can develop into an asshole. I think working in the pharmacy just ruins you. Dealing with overly or under medicated people is the bane of my existence.
I've never known even that there are degrees of hate within oneself. You can hate customers on so many levels, it's like Dante's inferno of your soul. There are the people who piss you off, there are those who annoy you, the ones that offend you, and the ones you wish you could physically assault, the dumb ones, the snobs.
I could go on and on about this all night but I'm too sober for that shit.
So back to what I was saying about the new guy...
Anytime I help him out with something he pats my back as if I've just saved him from certain doom, or hey saving him from an actual real life Dragon we currently have in the pharmacy.
I think he'll be okay.
I was scrolling through emails when I opened one that was very recent and from Dragon of all people.
We have a site at work where you can award points to coworkers for deeds and such, you then use said points to buy overly priced junk. I'm personally saving for a Vacuum cleaner or fancy blender.
Well she awarded me points for being accountable ( a joke considering she wrote me up for the exact opposite) and for labeling the whole pharmacy which was way outdated.
I thought that was decent of her, maybe one day soon I could forgive her, learn from this and move on.
I wish there were two or three of me to help out. I'm pooped, Jesus take the bloody wheel.
My Novel life stinks.
I should be writing but my brain is fried after work. Coherent thoughts are a thing of yesteryear.
I don't know how to fix this chapter, do I just stick to the outline? I like outline but that may actually just end up asking more questions than it answers thus prolonging novel and adding more chapters. I want to be done with this book already, I'm so close, why can't I just finish?
So you see it's much of the same for me everyday.
Nothing exciting happening to me anytime soon. Nothing to see here folks, move along.