Tuesday, December 20, 2016


It's Monday and I'm actually writing instead of binge watching Grey's Anatomy on Netflix.
I'm pretty tired, drove an hour to see my boyfriend who has moved even further away recently.
I love him but fuck do I hate commuting, I'm sure he does too since he does his own to see me.
This won't be the most riveting blog post, but I just feel like typing.

I'm not too keen on driving. I can never be one of those people who just drive and stick their heads out windows, sunglasses on, enjoying cruise control. I'm the asshole who cuts you off because you drive too slow.
I don't give you chances to cut in, I don't care if you have your blinker on, blinkers are for bitches, you have to just take the pussy, er, I mean road, and cut in there. Road Rage!? Of course! I will mow you down with my silver monopoly piece of car. I hate you other driver, I hate your pretentious SUV's and Sedans. If I weren't so poor I'd be just like you.

I speed because I'm almost late to things, also because I have no air conditioning, so driving at high speeds almost guarantees me a setting on a newer car ac's dial called LOW.

My body feels odd lately. My T Zone is oily, my pits feel a bit of perspiration, what's going on?
Am I going through Menopause? Is this because of the eating disorder?
Oily skin has NEVER been an issue before.

I did stop taking my birth control for one or two months..not on purpose but because I just forgot.
No baby and two periods later I'm okay in that department.
I couldn't even picture a life with an infant  again, I'm not against the idea, if it happens I'd probably just keep it and continue to struggle anyways, hell I can get by, I've managed to not ruin us for four years, I think I could survive.
I haven't been eating. I've been drinking 40% proof Vodka.
I've been starting early around 7, I drink myself into a stupor very quickly because there's nothing in my stomach.
If I eat, and that depends on what week it is and how I'm feeling, it be twice a week.
That's it. I'm not allowing myself much else.
 I have been drinking for two weeks straight. I find myself at a certain time of night, an hour or two after I get home a little bit after 6 o'clock, craving the numbing alcohol.
It is numbing right? On your skin and in your liver.
Most of my days are like this..(you may want to sit down, browse Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.)
Wake up and rush to get ready for work.
Feed harem of stray cats and 1 duck I have adopted outside, rush to work.
Work, Dragon, sporadic text to my boyfriend, Mini, Shorty, 4:30, time to go home.
Sit in traffic for an hour.
Get home and feed harem.
There's not much food being mentioned
 Being depressed is a catalyst for this current wave of Anorexia.
They feed off each other and drive me insane.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do right now, not eating feels okay. I'm always working, by the time I do get home I'm so exhausted I can't even think about preparing a meal.
I have headaches all day long, no seriously all of the time.
So I'm not hungry, I've already gobbled 4-6 Ibuprofen, the only medicine left is the alcohol. That shuts out any body aches or headaches I have daily. Numb.No more sadness, worry, bitterness, loneliness, just unconsciousness.
Who needs food?

I've lost weight this year.


Animal Kingdom with sis!

There is no goal weight, there is only what I feel, what I think, what I deserve.
I'm not working out, I wish I could but I have no motivation. I've become sluggish.
I'm tired a lot, my body aches, most days I'd love to walk out of the pharmacy but I can't. I have loads of responsibility my way.
My daughter turned twelve last month, she's into anime, video games and colored hair.
I'm just in shock she hasn't hated me yet.
She's been diagnosed with high cholesterol levels so I've had to change her diet. Trust me, I'm not the one to say what one can or cannot eat.
I don't want to say NO to everything but you'd be surprised at how many high cholesterol foods  you consume unknowingly.
I'm trying to just get us healthy or rather her. Lots of fruits, yogurt, wheat ad low fat dairy..

It's almost my bedtime, I'll be right back. More to tell when I'm not so pressed for time,
Goodnight all.

Be safe.

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

bad day

So it begins, the sadness.

I'm not feeling too hot lately, things are escalating all around me and I'm just not ready for it all.
I get to work this morning and Dragon only glances at me and turns her head back to the computer screen.

This morning I thought the day would be better, I actually was up before the alarm, well actually I've been up since 4am but that's besides the point.
Insomnia has been making an appearance this week thus far.
I tried to go back to bed and finally nod off at 5:30 when in a fit of sheer desperation, I threw all the pillows spectacularly off the bed.
The pillows landed this way and that, waking both cats who sleep till about 6am themselves. The smaller grey cat squints her eyes back shut. The larger black one usually wakes me up early by jumping over or on me or even laying down on my hair pulling it back under her weight.
It's usually food that they want.
Food bowls are put away after a certain time each night due to a huge roach infestation in my apartment. How huge a roach infestation you ask?
I can distinguish the different species! I got some Germans, Americans, Albino, hell I thought I found some Asians one the other day too.
They are everywhere it's so disgusting.

My apartment building is nothing more than a Roach Motel.

I'm up and head to the shower, I think long and hard as I lather, "What will life be like being unemployed again?"
I let the water cascade down my body and wash away the thoughts of calling out of work.
I wipe away at the foggy mirror and stare at the person on the other side.
I hate the person who looks back at me, sometimes I wish she would just do us all a favor and die already.
I weigh myself. Weighing oneself will determine if I'm allowed some kind of substance at all today, as it turns out I'm down two of the supposed six I've gain since my vacation binge eating.
I decide to only have one meal and only in the morning.
I get dressed and head out the door. The first thing I do is set food out for my stray cats and duck.
Next up is the embarrassing display of having to keep adding water to my car's reservoir because I have a leak and the coolant levels are always low or nonexistent.
The morning isn't so bright today, there's a small overcast which gives me relief as I have to drive about an hour in traffic with no air conditioning.
I'm not running too behind so that means I can have breakfast.
I found a new Smoothie king location that I want to try out, also a new route to work.
Both work out and my timing is still good.
I don't sip the Vanilla Shredder just yet as it's too thick. I plan to sip on this thing for most of the day to counteract any meals I'm supposed to be having.
The drive to work is longer today because I'm trying not to speed, I have about 300 dollars worth of tickets and pray I don't get anymore.
When I finally arrive at work I head inside and chat with my fellow Big Brother fanatic. The show has just started up again this year for the summer.
She and I talk game for a bit, she continues to joke about us applying for the show next year together.
Part of me would love to just do this even though I know we stand no chance. Lately the people they select on this show look like they live in the Gym. Part of the show's mandate is a lot of physical comps and well my out of shape behind will almost be guaranteed to fail. I'm not fit or fine so keep dreaming bub.
It's almost 8 and I have to punch in at the pharmacy. I feel the dread cover me like some sort of depression Snuggie.
Image result for depression snuggie

Dragon's greeting assures me that all is fucked.
Today she's wearing the other pants, black slacks as opposed to the pinstripe ones. These are her "I'm serious" pants.
Mondays are the day we do our truck order. I've always been curious as to how that works, I don't actually know.
See being the "Inventory Specialist" means part of more bullshit to do including this very thing.
Now last week the Russian pharmacist did the order and seeing as how Dragon missed work yesterday to go to a meeting, I figured the other pharmacist would be the one to do it.
She didn't and neither did I.
Dragon waits till I clock in and set my smoothie down to scold me for not having done the order.
"But I was never taught."
Her response? "You're the inventory specialist, I'm counting on you to do this, now what will happen Friday when we get the truck? If you don't know something you need to call the next store up so they can tell you how it's done."
All I can do my friends is just nod my head in agreement as if this insensitive cunt has a point.
She sucks her teeth and turns around to go sit on her stool and type.
I turn around myself and start slowly counting pills.
My eyes well up and I bite down on my lip as hard as I can to keep from crying.
How can I be at fault for something I was never taught? The hypocrisy. We are a training store for fucks sake1
 This idiot will make that annoying baby Betty Boop voice teaching total strangers but expects me to accept a new position and automatically assume I know it all? How can you not teach me who works with you and then tell me to have random techs I've never met from other busy stores take time to show me how to do my new job?

I'm not crying because she scolded me, I want to cry because I can't speak up.
I can't yell "Hey you scaly asshole it's not my fault, I haven't even had the pay grade or my job title officially change! You want me to work for free?"
Instead I just stay quiet and feel bad about myself. I find myself fighting the tears as I tear myself down. I deserve every single miserable thing that touches my life.
Who do you think you are?
You think you're going to just have normal life or that people won't somehow take a good look at you and not know by your ratty clothing that you are a lesser person?
I feel today like all the roaches, the ratty holey clothes I wear, the used dented leaking car, the mounting debts, the struggle with eating, the loneliness, I deserve it all. I deserve nothing and anytime I think something good finally touches me, it doesn't.
God doesn't give me better because I'm unworthy.
I'm garbage.
I know this to be true because people like Dragon who make a lot of money and went to college can tell.
They know I'm just pretending. She knows I won't talk back or make waves, she knows I'm meek.

The rest of my shift I was quiet. The minute she was done "expressing" herself I didn't even want the shake anymore. I threw it away. Food? You deserve nothing, you can't do anything right.

I would hand Dragon a basket with a prescription for a patient that was waiting and instead of handing it to me, she'd toss it aside and not let me know anything.

I feel like her dog.
I feel inadequate.
I feel just like I used to when I first started working with her.

The prospect of her leaving is dwindling before my very eyes.
She's challenging the move, she doesn't approve of the schedule in her new would be pharmacy.
The person who would be her new partner there has 4 kids and if you are a working mom then you would know just how firm a schedule is.
Dragon has zero children, I still don't know how she has the same boyfriend? I can only guess he makes less money than her and is in it for the free ride (I'm being cynical now of course)
She should be very flexible on that schedule.
I'm unsure now if she's leaving.
I can't possibly keep going on working like this with her and her moods.
I'm seriously starting to contemplate asking for a transfer myself.
I hate that I would be the one to leave seeing as how I was there first.
I'm just so depressed.
I feel defeated, I feel like just surrendering the pharmacy and all the hard work I put into it to make it the store it is today all to her.
Image result for wolf cowering in a fight
Why fight the inevitable.
I can't just coexist with her, it's like having a huge fight with your significant other and no one wants to talk first because that means they win, instead you two ignore each other. I'll end up sleeping on the floor or on the couch trying to avoid contact.
Tomorrow I work all day with her. I'm not sure what to do.
I don't remember what it's like to have a backbone anymore.
I feel like people look at me and just know I'm weak. They can step all over me.
One day all of you who think you're so much better than me, those of you who think I'm so stupid, those who think they are getting away with humiliating me will get to step all over me, yes, I'll be dead in the ground and you can happily dance on my fucking grave.
I happily say FUCK YOU all, I will be at peace finally never seeing any of you again.
Congratulations, enjoy your lives.
Sorry for not being cheery but right now I don't care.
I'm depressed, I'm ready to throw in the towel.


Vacation Mode OFF

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Phone Vlog!


I was able to make a video from my phone, if it's not too bad and you all don't hate it then I'll try to make more from here until I'm able to save and get this very lovely camera the HTC RE

Friday, June 3, 2016

The day after tommorow

Tuesday was another day of being late, I'm starting to suspect they're onto me.
I punched in at the register and looked over at Dragon who was quiet and typing away, she was standing rocking herself back and forth. She was wearing those pants again. She always wears the same pair of pants, she has two she alternates by, but this one by far has stuck around the longest, it's grey and pinstripe, the seat of those pants are ripping slightly, I can't say I'm not surprised, if you could only see Dragon's derriere then you'd know what I'm talking about. That Dragon's got medieval junk in ye old trunk.
Her scale enlaced stomach protrudes today, I can tell when she's been gorging herself all weekend. I'm sure there's a town somewhere with a lower population after her visit. Then there are those annoying days when she decides she wants to be healthy and will eat yogurt all day, on those days she's especially miserable. She finally glances my way and says nothing, no good morning, hello, sup?
I gave her a nod.
Aaaaaaand she's in a bad mood.
Her lack of social etiquette this morning is a clear indication all is not well in  The island of Berk.
It's going to be a long day.
Yesterday was Memorial Day, most doctor's offices were closed and the pharmacy was only open for a few hours, usually when this happens the following day is busy and that's what awaited me as I checked the queue, 5 pages of Production. Five pages of medications to fill hasn't happened in a few months, when it does happen though it is apparent.
I print my credentials and begin my shift.
Being as it so busy I hardly have time to do much in Production. It's only just turned 8:30, the next person to come in is Mini and that's not happening until noon. Normally I can knock out 3 pages worth in an hour tops but today with the phones, and customers at the register I can't seem to make any leeway.
I'm in the middle of counting 180 Metformin tablets then there's a woman at pickup. I grab a piece of paper and write down the last number I left off at, no way I'm starting over, I'm up to 96 tablets so far.
"Hi, are you picking up?" the phone rings loudly as she gives her response. I put the caller on hold and the woman at the register has walked over to Drop Off with Dragon.
I figure Dragon would answer her question or whatever she was here for, I continue counting the rest of the medication.
I hear Dragon's nasally voice and I look to see who she's pretending for, she walks over to the door and opens it letting the woman who was at the register inside.
The woman is a trainee from a newly acquired pharmacy, she'll be here till about 5pm. Oh joy a buffer!
My stomach is in knots, I didn't have anything to eat today. Haven't had much food lately, been living off of meal replacement shakes and coffee. I'm too depressed to eat. I don't deserve food. I don't deserve much as it happens.
Dragon asks the trainee what exactly is she here to learn, to which the trainee responds "Everything."
No bueno.
It's a very busy day and having someone with no experience here means that things will get twice as busy. Trainee's are eager to learn but incredibly slow.
I'm sure one day they will have mastered this meaningless job, but until then you're in my way.
Dragon suggests the trainee spend half her shift with me and then other with her.
Dragon's voice is extra annoying today, she sounds like a baby cheerleader whose horribly congested. Sometimes she enunciates words through her nasal passages and I just want to roll my eyes and scream "That's not how you pronounce that word!"

I introduce myself to the trainee who looks like the hysterical actress Octavia Spencer, complete with a gap of her own...
I'm always fascinated by people with Diastema, in my childhood I often got picked on because of my gap teeth, finding others like me and knowing that they have accepted their fate is comforting. I'm not the last unicorn.

My trainee Octavia is a very bright young woman, she definitely has the chops to make it in this field. She catches on quickly as I explain the tedious tasks set before us. There's not much conversation out of her unless it's an explanation of the reason behind some of the ridiculous things that are asked of us, there's no logical, intelligent answer I can give her sadly, just the same sorry doctrine that was passed down to me.
As the day progresses things get busier, Mini finally shows up for her shift. She's all smiles and introductions right up until the master bellows "Get to work there's a lot to do today, we have 5 pages of production!"
Mini's smiles come to a halt.
The Pharmacy is getting crowded. My pharmacy is small,  having more than three people is too much, I think we even have a maximum capacity sign posted somewhere that's says just that.
Dragon has no room to verify the many stacked baskets of medication, she is getting irritated and moves to the very back of the pharmacy where an impromptu workstation awaited her.
Mini is scrambling around trying to solve everything. I'm at the register while Octavia counts pills and makes a few fumbles.
After about an hour into this Shorty strolls through the door. It's a packed house.
He says hello to me first, patting my back softly and continues down the line with greetings. He sees Octavia and looks confused, he looks to me for answers "A trainee" I tell him, he nods his pretty head and one less mystery solved. The Pharmacy looks a mess, clearly this is not your mama's Tuesdays.
Mini looks over at shorty "Omg get to work like right now" her neat hair filled with flyways now.
Shorty complies.
Dragon tells mini to get drop off and she scratches the top of her head. Drop off can be both a good  and bad thing, when it's good you've done your job well, when it's bad you will ponder storming out and being unemployed. I have a few regulars of mine show up today, one in particular wants me to please refill all her mother's medications, I print screen her mother's profile and make a note in my downtime to do this.
My downtime came sooner then later and I finally managed to sit down on a stool to get started. Sitting down for me is a novelty. I never get a chance to sit down. You ever stand in one place for 8 to 13 hours straight sometimes with no bathroom break? Welcome to Saw pharmacy edition.
Out of nowhere Dragon appears next to me "Here why don't I fill her stuff while you go help them in production, it's still like 5 pages and we can't have that all day long" she snatches the sheet of paper out of my hands and heads back to her cave.
I want to murder her, she has a horrible lack of common sense when speaking to others.
In production now and things are finally moving along quickly, Mini in drop off and Shorty at the register.
When the pharmacy finally settles down and we're all caught up, Dragon is hungry. I hear her ordering the usual at a restaurant nearby. Most of the time she'll give me her credit card and send me to fetch her food. While this task is degrading at least I get to leave the pharmacy and be outside in the sunshine for a few minutes.
Today though she asked Mini to do it. Mini was hungry too and Shorty who's always hungry I guess on account of body building or training or whatever the heck they call guys who are into their physique, mentioned wanting to eat four or so slices of pizza, Octavia said she could eat that as well, so we all pitched in and bought two pizzas for lunch.
Dragon is munching away and we all huddle near the storage closet to steal bites of pizza. We are all vigilant of any customers or phone calls. We're also talking quietly to each other, see if Dragon hears us having too good a time she will break that up until we're all in our corners.
I had a slice of greasy pizza. The minute the last piece of crust was swallowed I immediately regret it. Of all the things to want to keep down, this?
I still have a few more hours to go before my shift ends, now comes the upset stomach, that full feeling like my stomach suddenly expanded three times it's size. My mood falters and now my day gets worse.
Dragon sends me to drop off while she's on the phone trying to get a repairman to come out and fix our printer.
The first couple of patients were okay, I had Octavia with me, Dragon never trained her at all. I'm teaching her what I could because drop off involves a lot of insurance problems. There's just so many things I can explain in a short amount of time too, I can't teach it all but I cover a lot of ground anyway.
Octavia is slow and line starts to form. I get the people behind her. The man wears shades indoors and the woman he is with looks horribly haggard and her dirty blond hair limp.
He starts by telling me this his third time at this place and he can't understand how no one can figure out the problem with his insurance.
I can tell he's going to be a problem. The woman he is with tells me to hurry up because she is tired of standing and she doesn't understand what I'm playing at with Octavia.
Octavia looks appalled, this is her first encounter with patient Sick Prick.
Sick Prick has HIV, we get a lot of gay men with HIV on the beach. They have a complicated insurance. They have a regular insurance like you or me but they also have a pro bono clinic picking up the tab on their viral meds.
Sick Pricks fag hag is pissing me off, she is super rude and keeps talking to me like I'm a moron.
One thing you must always learn folks, don't piss off the help, they're the legs you stand on and we can buckle bitch.
I take twice as long and allow Octavia to do all the slow typing and processing. Sick Prick keeps asking me "How long is this going to take?" to which I respond "As long as it takes. If you're in a hurry come back later, if your legs hurt from standing go sit down."
Sick Prick crosses his arms.

That's right twinkles I can catch an attitude right back, don't think I'll be a professional here for one minute.
His insurance keeps rejecting, for the most part everything seems to be entered correctly in the system. Sick Prick loves to keep his mouth open apparently, (I'm sure that's how he got into this mess to begin with) "What's the problem, my insurance is valid, I need my meds, I keep coming here and no one knows what they are doing."
I'm tired of his voice and his fag hag giving me looks of intimidation. Oh please lady, don't let my short stature fool you, remember Wolverines are small too.
I look over at Dragon who poked her head to see who keeps talking rudely. She says nothing though and continues her phone call.
I have no choice but to call the Insurance company.
The Russian walks in, her shifts starts at 3 and Dragon is relived of duty.
There's a line behind prickhead and I head over to the Russian who's setting up shop for the day. Everyone looks relived to see the Dragon go.

I ask the Russian if she was familiar with his issue since most likely this happened on her shift. She knew him immediately.
"Oh yea I remember him, I guess I'll call the Insurance and see what the problem is."
I head back over to Octavia whilst the Russian tries to figure out what's going on.
Sick Prick is just being rude now, he keeps aggravating me and his little dog keeps barking that she wants to go.
I tell him we're calling to see what the problem is. "The problem is that you're very rude and could use a class or two on customer service. I haven't had my meds in almost a week. This isn't a game sweetheart."

 He starts to walk off saying something about me needing patience to which I respond "No you need patience, rushing me won't help, that's how mistakes are made. This is medicine we're dealing with here, this is not a drive thru at McDonalds."
 He's livid now.
Finally his insurance has gone thru, looks like he had an old card and all the new information was different. So to sum it all up, this is his mistake not ours.
Once he gets his virals, he comes back over to drop off as I'm explaining calculating the days supply on a prescription to Octavia.
"I want to speak to your manager." The Russian is on the phone. It's started to get busy again. The queue gets full with thirty prescriptions to type.
I tell him she's on the phone. He then comes back and knocks loudly on the counter in front of me. "You need to look at people in the eyes when they talk to you, you are very rude."
I need to look you in the eye? Maybe if you would take those stupid shiny shades off, who wears sunglasses indoors other than battered women and men in porno shops?
He hasn't seen rude from me, I hold back so much. I want to say mean things, I want to hurt his feelings. I don't of course, I have my kid to think about. Losing my job right now wouldn't be ideal. I guess I'm just a doorstop after all, please by all means everyone walk all over me, don't forget to wipe your feet!
The Russian is still on the phone when he comes back again. "Is she done?"
I simply say no.
I don't want to look at him, I want to cry because I can't go off on him and that only makes him and others like him think they are winning, that somehow they are clearly right because I never say anything as disgusting as they do back.
There's chaos at the register and Shorty almost falls backwards off his bench at the mere sight of our queue and everything that has to be both typed and filled in the next thirty minutes.
The Russian is off of the phone and speaking to the Prick.
He starts off by repeating all that jazz about 3rd time coming here blah, blah. His last complaint was that I didn't look at him when he spoke.
The Russian apologizes and the Sick Prick leaves and takes his pet with him.
The Russian rubs my back as she walks by. It makes me sad that it' so obvious how bothered I was.
The truth is no matter how many times boss and coworkers tell me not to take anything personal, well I do. How could you not take offense when someone is going out of their way to make you look and feel stupid?
I let people get to me.
The rest of my shift flew by fast and I couldn't be happier.
I get to drive off in my tin can at peak traffic hours and sit in a car with no ac, I can go back to my roach motel apt where the only ones who greet me are animals and that's cos they are hungry.
I get to get a few sporadic texts from my boyfriend before he goes to bed, maybe even a one sided phone call with my sister into which an hour goes by and I now hate her coworkers as much as she does. I get to drink until I pass out, sleep it off and wake up at four am only to never fall back asleep. Finally I wake up at 6am and get to do it all over again.


Friday, May 20, 2016

Training Day

This is my long day, or should have been anyways.
Instead of thirteen hours, I'd  only be working eleven hours today. I have those two Sundays a month of work to thank. If I don't get cut from work every other Wednesday then I'd be going into overtime, and boy do they hate that. I also take comfort in the fact that I saw Mini scheduled too, I need my buffers, my fillers, anyone else but Dragon and I alone all the live long day.
Mini is scheduled at 1 and unfortunately it's only 8:15 Eastern Time.
I sigh internally.
By 9 I was done with most of the morning tasks, now what? I really want to go home. I briefly wonder if I could try to fake my death so I won't have to come to work tomorrow.
I was in the throes of securing my impromptu noose to the Pick Up sign when suddenly out of nowhere a stranger appears and says the most beautiful words heard in the English language,
"I'm here for training."
Me eyes light up with hope, the day may go by faster yet. Like that old proverb says "Time Flies when you're not alone and can dump the workload on others."
The trainee is a Floater pharmacist from a newly acquired pharmacy, or should I say another one that's been gobbled by these corporate conglomerates, Monopoly anyone?
I'm not at liberty to say what Pharmacy though, I'm sorry.

Image result for target meme

He's here today to actually train with Dragon. The poor fool.
Before the disappointment sunk in that I'd have to do actual work for the rest of the day, another trainee appears, she's new to the company and I get to train her.
                                Image result for training day quotes
So Dragon and I each have a buffer, with any luck I may not even have to look at her.
My trainee is very nice and very southern. We'll call her Bama.
Bama's never worked in a pharmacy before so she has no idea what's to come.
I've done most of the work already so there's not really a whole lot I can show her just now.
I end up teaching her the register as patients started appearing to pick up prescriptions. She fumbles with the register and has no idea how to spell most last names. I guess we all have our hardships to overcome.
I can hear Dragon's extra high pithed wailing. She does this thing where she tries to sound like Betty Boop but ends up sounding like a nasally baby instead.
She's being fake polite right now, I've seen it before from her, she acts interested, laughs and smiles at al the right intervals.
Well I do that too of course, there's a lot of hours in the day, you can't possibly expect me to pay attention all the time.
First and foremost, you can't bullshit a bullshitter.

Now Bama is confused and very nervous. From my understanding she said she didn't know much other than what's she read in her modules. I take it easy with her, I also have a voice except mines doesn't wail and is much cuter than Dragon's.

Bama is on a roll in Production (counting happy pills) when all of a sudden another trainee arrives!

Now this other trainee is someone I've worked with before, she's here today to learn more about the Drop Off station. She's super sweet and as it happens the tallest person in the Pharmacy at the moment.
Or maybe she just seems taller because we're all so unusually short. Dragon, Mini, Shorty, we're all the same height. Cross is the exception, he's usually the tallest person when he works but the same can be said of him too. The cold harsh truth is simply that a Pharmacy with it's high shelves is just a challenging place for someone with my compact stature. Retrieving a Hydrochlorothiazide bottle from a high shelf is a challenge. Seriously people, I use a step stool daily, it's practically part of my uniform.

Image result for wizard of oz memes
Mini      Dragon      Shorty
rare photo. est. 2016

So to recap, we have 3 extra people in the pharmacy.
After Tallest Tech punches in, for some odd reason, Dragon having her own trainee decides to steal
Bama from me and take her to Drop Off?
Drop off is the last big whoop as far as training goes. Bama is skipping woops. She's not ready for all that Drop Off jelly.
Tall T comes with me then, I don't have to give her much attention she knows her whoops.
Having more people in the pharmacy meant that the usual way of doing things is out the window. Efficiency is not a word that will utilized today You can't be too mad at the new people, or can you?
As I'm pretending to work whilst Tall T gets the register and long line of people, I hear Dragon in the distance gushing over Bama "Omg you're doing such a great job! You're great."

Image result for dragon smiling
Soft Croon

Do my ears deceive me? Am I hearing this correctly?

                                                                 Image result for spongebob ten hours later

I'm flustered. Dragon is too, the tone of her voice deepens and her breathing is labored.
She subtly begins the orders. "Ok QT, are prescriptions coming in."
So it begins.
When Bama is struggling in Drop Off a line forms, Dragon calls out for me.
"Can you help her, there's like a line already, she needs help, she shouldn't even be doing Drop Off."
You think!
Why did you take her in the first place? Why not train the person who is specifically here for such a purpose.
So now I have to help, damn work doesn't let me relax. I have to be here till 7pm, that doesn't mean that I want to be actually working the entire time.

After the line of patients have dissipated I head back to check on Tall T.
Mini comes in and is surprised by how many people are in the pharmacy. More people means less to do. Dragon is talking to the floater, she looks very proud as she retells her story of how she came to save my wretched little pharmacy.
"This place was a mess, what a dump." I've heard this story before, many times.
What starts to upset me is when she says "I do everything here, expires, returns, the order."
She has the nerve to roll her beady yellow eyes as if that statement were true. Um what am I chopped liver? Bitch I do those things too. How about a little credit where its due. Why can't she just think before she speaks.
There's not much to do so the floater takes someone at the register. Dragon has no one to talk to anymore because Bama went on her break.
Tall T is at Production and taking a phone call.
Dragon is now left alone perched on her stool of solitude.

                                         Image result for dragon on a tower

I'm speaking to the floater when suddenly Dragon approaches us "Can you take Pick Up, he's not here to do that." Do that? Oh you mean I'm beneath him, my job title is basically to be your lackey.
He actually should learn all these tasks that are beneath him, one day he'll find himself short staffed then what?
Mini is at Pick Up now, Tall T at drop off, Bama is still on break.
The floater once again finds his way back to me and this time he's printed out a label, he's looking for syringes.
Now just Tuesday I organized all of the syringes we have in our closet, it was out of control. It was so unkempt that when we had to search for a specific gauge of a syringe, we couldn't find it and just end up ordering another box.
Now the floater said syringes, but we also have Pen needles, nonetheless I told him where the "syringes" were. Another problem was that the patient was in the store and waiting, that meant we had exactly 10 minutes to finish the whole process from start to finish which is handing him his receipt and sending him on his merry way.
Dragon always whines like a fucking little brat. She panics, she creates drama where there be no need for it. When the floater called for me to help him Dragon shouted "Omg it's Pen Needles not syringes, you're wasting time!" She snatches a box off the shelf and heads back to her corner.
Oh My God.
You have no idea, none, how I was just a mere second from going off on this bitch.

I felt so embarrassed, I wanted to ask her what her problem was? Is it really necessary to belittle others, to get so easily frustrated because no one else shares your unrealistic standards.
I held my tongue and said nothing. That anger builds up in me and I have to stow it.
No wonder I hurt  myself, I'm pathetic, probably deserve all of this.
The hours ticked away and soon everyone was leaving for the day.
I managed to calm down and put the outburst behind.
And then there were three.
Mini and I were trapped with Dragon. She had to close, I got to leave early.
A month ago I happened to find a hedgehog in a plaza sidewalk near a pet shop while on my way to Dairy Queen with my daughter. She wanted to keep it of course and part of me did too.

Unfortunately I had no idea how difficult a pet it turned out to be. The things poos all the time, is secretive and nocturnal. I think it's even mean, I'm scared to touch the damn thing after it bit me once while I cleaned its bedding.
I told myself I would take are of it even if I didn't interact with it. My daughter tried a few times to tame it but that's a spikey meatball!
At work I randomly and jokingly asked Mini if she wanted a free hedgehog, and wouldn't you know she said yes.
Hot Diggity!
Now she was not going to be working Thursday and I don't work Friday so the exchange of goods was going to have to be coordinated. I got out at seven and she at nine. I half kid about coming right after work to pick it up and she also agreed.
Mini was super excited and she and I had more things to talk about including our love of American Horror Story. I caught Dragon eavesdropping although she'd deny stooping to that level.
Image result for i was not dropping eaves samwise

She even asked what we were talking about finally.
I didn't care anymore at this point it was time for me to go home.
I picked up my daughter from m ex's apt and headed home to clean up and especially tidy up the hedgehog.
I wanted her to take it home, I was determined to make this sale, well if I was getting some money in return or was offered money, you know what I'm tryna say pfft.
Mini arrived fashionably late and with her boyfriend?
Well whatever, more hands to carry it out.
Now my daughter has a problem with being too honest, that's not necessarily a problem but in this case honesty was not the best policy. She was giving away damaging testimonials like "It poos a lot, and it stinks" or how about this "It bites" and then my all time favorite "Good luck picking up that thing."  
 Now when people say children should be seen and not heard, it should be a gold standard. Here I am trying to give away something while my daughter unwinds a giant scroll of Cons.
I don't believe in child abuse per say...but.
Well to make a long blog short, after almost one complete hour in my house she didn't pick up the hedgehog, her boyfriend on the other had was smitten with the pokey thing. He was on my side, the side of let's sell this jalopy and drive it home. He picked up and was even bitten by the spikey pig, he didn't care. I told them the bites feel like pinches, that the critter is a vegetarian and has no teeth so all was well.
Of course I have no idea what I'm talking about. Just take Polly Pocket home already I'm getting tired.
She finally is ready to take her new pet home after good ol peer pressure sets in. Mini is so happy and I hope it stays that way because we don't accept returns here. If she starts talking about wanting to give it back then I'm going to look her square in the eye and say "What hedgehog?"


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