Monday, March 16, 2015

Sleep, Purge, Work, Repeat..

I'm officially a full time employee at the pharmacy.
Since December have been working 6 days a week, 40 hours, and sometimes when overtime is authorized, up to 60 hours.

My pharmacy bought the neighboring pharmacy that's been around for 20 years next door.
With their closing, my pharmacy bought all the patients and even their pharmacist.
The poor patients had no idea of the change and my little workplace next door didn't either.
We were unequipped for the doubling of patients.
Both my current pharmacists were shook up, my favorite one who I just about consider one of the sweetest people I know immediately got transferred out.
I was devastated, not only was she gone they brought in this older male person to take her place.
He was there not because he was more capable than her but because he was there as a transition piece, a friendly face to ease in the sudden changes that were hitting too close to home.

Work had been a mess. Too many new patients with NO PATIENCE.
It's been difficult and strenuous on me physically and mentally.
I find myself exhausted all the time.
My Insomnia at full force, I find myself sometimes surviving on 2-3 hours sleep a day, and the worst of it is when I do fall asleep, all my dreams involve the pharmacy.
The new rich, snooty customers bitch at me daily and call me degrading, insulting names.
I've cried 3 times in front of customers and coworkers. I even snapped on more than one occasion, yelling back at a patient.
I had one woman who was upset that her medication wasn't ready snatch an insurance card right out of my hand, instantly that just caused me to yell at her forcefully and then storm out to cry in the employee bathroom for five full minutes.
Not one of my better days.

It's been a challenge.
Financially the money has been good, but how quickly it goes out.
My saturn has been a money pit, my GOD has that car sucked all my monies.
I finally invested 200 more to the inflated expenses when the very next day my engine blows and I have no more car.

My "mechanic" or rather my ex's has been scolding me practically every time I fucking see him about the importance of taking your time and car shopping (with him) so finally I have no choice but to buy another car, to dip into my savings from my tax return.
The problem with working full time is that I have no time to do anything, let alone car shop.
I missed 3 days already from repairing the Saturn, I couldn't afford to miss anymore so I had to go car shopping with my ex's mechanic on Friday afternoon after work, and then Saturday my only day off.
My ex's mechanic makes me feel uncomfortable. He's constantly eating me up with his eyes and telling me "how good I look" it's awful.
He's an older man, looks like Meat Loaf's character in Fight Club.
The man has bitch tits people.
Anyways he's also lazy and over charges me at every turn.
Case in point my last major car repair with him, some belt that popped in my car as I was with my boyfriend and the kids heading to the bakery. He charges me 200 for the job, my car works again...(very next day car breaks for good!)
I come to find out belt in actuality only costs 50$
He clearly robbed me blind.
I don't know many mechanics, I have no clue what to do if my tire gets flat or when to change the oil? I've just started to pay more attention to things under the hood but you won't catch me rebuilding any engines any time soon.
All of my brothers are estranged and have never taken an interest in my life without getting something in return. I feel alone and vulnerable, who will help me?

So I need a car.
My ex's mechanic suggests I look on Craig's List for auto's.
My max price is $1500.00, I cannot afford any car more than that. I just paid 500 for 6 months worth of car insurance already.
The money is evaporating.
I try my best in my short time to find a few cars in my price range, the mechanic and I agree to meet up on Friday after I get home from work to start the car search.
The car I'm interested in is $1700 or best offer so I'm thinking my 1500 should sway a seller..maybe.
The seller has school and will be available to show the car after 6pm, so I relay the message to my mechanic.
He takes his time and even calls me to let me know he's having dinner with his brother at a pizza parlor!
At almost 9pm this stupid shithead wants to show up and go car shopping!
I told him it was too late, he then has the audacity to say "Hey I'm going out of my way to help you, I don't like your attitude sweetheart, get someone else to help you."
Can you believe this hair band reject?!

What was I going to do now?
Luckily my boyfriend came to the rescue and took me early to look at potential buys.
Oh that Saturday was a memorable one. The day was dark and stormy.
All those potential buyers were full of shit, my top choices were now my non choices.
Last on my list was a tiny Daewoo hatchback for 1200..
The seller was wishy washy at times but in the end the car was finally available for a showing.
At first glance the little silver egg looked normal; no leaking of any kind, it had a motor that made no noise, the interior was simple and clean. The test drive around the trailer park that housed it was different, this car didn't have those awful tell tale signs of the Saturn. The car appears ok.
So the seller tells me the passenger window doesn't go down, and the driver's side visor doesn't go back up.
The mileage on the car was only 47,000 miles, hardly driven.
The paint on the little car is worn, the tires are missing a hubcaps too.
This car isn't the prettiest woman at the prom, not who'd you normally dance with, but given enough peach schnapps...Hey how you doing?!!
So in my haste I convinced the seller to give me the car for 1000 bucks.
And just like that I had a car.
Now I had to rush and make it to the Tag agency before they closed at four, I needed to renew my registration since my birthday was looming.
So 150 dollars and a new license plate later and the car was ready to hit the open road.
It drove like a dream.
I'm scared shitless of course, cars have traumatized me.
So far I've invested an oil change and new tires on this thing, I need to just fix my window and install my radio and maybe then this car will be okay.
I've had horrible buyers remorse but keep trying to see the positive in the decision I've made.

So I'm stressed to the max and have completely given up on exercise, have been binging and purging. I've gained back 10lbs.
I hate my body.
I'm feeling very depressed lately.

While I'm struggling in Miami with my Ed, my sister has been going through her own health scares with her own Eating Disorder.
Her laxative abuse has caused her to develop Kidney stones.
The poor thing has been hospitalized twice now because of it.
I try my best to give her advice but she seems to keep toppling backwards.
I only wish I lived closer to offer support.

The pharmacy is now with all new Pharmacy managers as they have transferred both old Pharmacists out.
Guess who's my new boss again?
Oh yes, Smaug is back.
She is just as annoying as ever.
I really hate my job now.
My only hope is that the pharmacy will break her.

My daughter is doing well, she even had her aunt flow come to town!
I was not prepared for this.

I've had a birthday recently. (OLD)
My boyfriend and I are still together, on April 15 we will make 3yrs.
He's trying to fix my car quirks for me so I can save on a few bucks. I'm all for it.

Life is pretty much going on for me, I only hope to join its pace too.
That's it for now.
Talk to you al again soon.


Anonymous said...

Good to see you posting again! I've missed reading you and seeing what is going on in your life. Keep writing!