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Friday, May 20, 2016

Training Day





Wednesday.
This is my long day, or should have been anyways.
Instead of thirteen hours, I'd  only be working eleven hours today. I have those two Sundays a month of work to thank. If I don't get cut from work every other Wednesday then I'd be going into overtime, and boy do they hate that. I also take comfort in the fact that I saw Mini scheduled too, I need my buffers, my fillers, anyone else but Dragon and I alone all the live long day.
Mini is scheduled at 1 and unfortunately it's only 8:15 Eastern Time.
I sigh internally.
By 9 I was done with most of the morning tasks, now what? I really want to go home. I briefly wonder if I could try to fake my death so I won't have to come to work tomorrow.
I was in the throes of securing my impromptu noose to the Pick Up sign when suddenly out of nowhere a stranger appears and says the most beautiful words heard in the English language,
"I'm here for training."
Me eyes light up with hope, the day may go by faster yet. Like that old proverb says "Time Flies when you're not alone and can dump the workload on others."
The trainee is a Floater pharmacist from a newly acquired pharmacy, or should I say another one that's been gobbled by these corporate conglomerates, Monopoly anyone?
I'm not at liberty to say what Pharmacy though, I'm sorry.

Image result for target meme

He's here today to actually train with Dragon. The poor fool.
Before the disappointment sunk in that I'd have to do actual work for the rest of the day, another trainee appears, she's new to the company and I get to train her.
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So Dragon and I each have a buffer, with any luck I may not even have to look at her.
My trainee is very nice and very southern. We'll call her Bama.
Bama's never worked in a pharmacy before so she has no idea what's to come.
I've done most of the work already so there's not really a whole lot I can show her just now.
I end up teaching her the register as patients started appearing to pick up prescriptions. She fumbles with the register and has no idea how to spell most last names. I guess we all have our hardships to overcome.
I can hear Dragon's extra high pithed wailing. She does this thing where she tries to sound like Betty Boop but ends up sounding like a nasally baby instead.
She's being fake polite right now, I've seen it before from her, she acts interested, laughs and smiles at al the right intervals.
Well I do that too of course, there's a lot of hours in the day, you can't possibly expect me to pay attention all the time.
First and foremost, you can't bullshit a bullshitter.

Now Bama is confused and very nervous. From my understanding she said she didn't know much other than what's she read in her modules. I take it easy with her, I also have a voice except mines doesn't wail and is much cuter than Dragon's.

Bama is on a roll in Production (counting happy pills) when all of a sudden another trainee arrives!



Now this other trainee is someone I've worked with before, she's here today to learn more about the Drop Off station. She's super sweet and as it happens the tallest person in the Pharmacy at the moment.
Or maybe she just seems taller because we're all so unusually short. Dragon, Mini, Shorty, we're all the same height. Cross is the exception, he's usually the tallest person when he works but the same can be said of him too. The cold harsh truth is simply that a Pharmacy with it's high shelves is just a challenging place for someone with my compact stature. Retrieving a Hydrochlorothiazide bottle from a high shelf is a challenge. Seriously people, I use a step stool daily, it's practically part of my uniform.

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Mini      Dragon      Shorty
rare photo. est. 2016

So to recap, we have 3 extra people in the pharmacy.
After Tallest Tech punches in, for some odd reason, Dragon having her own trainee decides to steal
Bama from me and take her to Drop Off?
Drop off is the last big whoop as far as training goes. Bama is skipping woops. She's not ready for all that Drop Off jelly.
Tall T comes with me then, I don't have to give her much attention she knows her whoops.
Having more people in the pharmacy meant that the usual way of doing things is out the window. Efficiency is not a word that will utilized today You can't be too mad at the new people, or can you?
As I'm pretending to work whilst Tall T gets the register and long line of people, I hear Dragon in the distance gushing over Bama "Omg you're doing such a great job! You're great."



Image result for dragon smiling
Soft Croon




Do my ears deceive me? Am I hearing this correctly?

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I'm flustered. Dragon is too, the tone of her voice deepens and her breathing is labored.
She subtly begins the orders. "Ok QT, are prescriptions coming in."
So it begins.
When Bama is struggling in Drop Off a line forms, Dragon calls out for me.
"Can you help her, there's like a line already, she needs help, she shouldn't even be doing Drop Off."
You think!
Why did you take her in the first place? Why not train the person who is specifically here for such a purpose.
So now I have to help, damn work doesn't let me relax. I have to be here till 7pm, that doesn't mean that I want to be actually working the entire time.


After the line of patients have dissipated I head back to check on Tall T.
Mini comes in and is surprised by how many people are in the pharmacy. More people means less to do. Dragon is talking to the floater, she looks very proud as she retells her story of how she came to save my wretched little pharmacy.
"This place was a mess, what a dump." I've heard this story before, many times.
What starts to upset me is when she says "I do everything here, expires, returns, the order."
She has the nerve to roll her beady yellow eyes as if that statement were true. Um what am I chopped liver? Bitch I do those things too. How about a little credit where its due. Why can't she just think before she speaks.
There's not much to do so the floater takes someone at the register. Dragon has no one to talk to anymore because Bama went on her break.
Tall T is at Production and taking a phone call.
Dragon is now left alone perched on her stool of solitude.

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I'm speaking to the floater when suddenly Dragon approaches us "Can you take Pick Up, he's not here to do that." Do that? Oh you mean I'm beneath him, my job title is basically to be your lackey.
He actually should learn all these tasks that are beneath him, one day he'll find himself short staffed then what?
Mini is at Pick Up now, Tall T at drop off, Bama is still on break.
The floater once again finds his way back to me and this time he's printed out a label, he's looking for syringes.
Now just Tuesday I organized all of the syringes we have in our closet, it was out of control. It was so unkempt that when we had to search for a specific gauge of a syringe, we couldn't find it and just end up ordering another box.
Now the floater said syringes, but we also have Pen needles, nonetheless I told him where the "syringes" were. Another problem was that the patient was in the store and waiting, that meant we had exactly 10 minutes to finish the whole process from start to finish which is handing him his receipt and sending him on his merry way.
Dragon always whines like a fucking little brat. She panics, she creates drama where there be no need for it. When the floater called for me to help him Dragon shouted "Omg it's Pen Needles not syringes, you're wasting time!" She snatches a box off the shelf and heads back to her corner.
Oh My God.
You have no idea, none, how I was just a mere second from going off on this bitch.
                                             



I felt so embarrassed, I wanted to ask her what her problem was? Is it really necessary to belittle others, to get so easily frustrated because no one else shares your unrealistic standards.
I held my tongue and said nothing. That anger builds up in me and I have to stow it.
No wonder I hurt  myself, I'm pathetic, probably deserve all of this.
The hours ticked away and soon everyone was leaving for the day.
I managed to calm down and put the outburst behind.
And then there were three.
Mini and I were trapped with Dragon. She had to close, I got to leave early.
A month ago I happened to find a hedgehog in a plaza sidewalk near a pet shop while on my way to Dairy Queen with my daughter. She wanted to keep it of course and part of me did too.






Unfortunately I had no idea how difficult a pet it turned out to be. The things poos all the time, is secretive and nocturnal. I think it's even mean, I'm scared to touch the damn thing after it bit me once while I cleaned its bedding.
I told myself I would take are of it even if I didn't interact with it. My daughter tried a few times to tame it but that's a spikey meatball!
At work I randomly and jokingly asked Mini if she wanted a free hedgehog, and wouldn't you know she said yes.
Hot Diggity!
Now she was not going to be working Thursday and I don't work Friday so the exchange of goods was going to have to be coordinated. I got out at seven and she at nine. I half kid about coming right after work to pick it up and she also agreed.
Mini was super excited and she and I had more things to talk about including our love of American Horror Story. I caught Dragon eavesdropping although she'd deny stooping to that level.
                                                   
Image result for i was not dropping eaves samwise

She even asked what we were talking about finally.
I didn't care anymore at this point it was time for me to go home.
I picked up my daughter from m ex's apt and headed home to clean up and especially tidy up the hedgehog.
I wanted her to take it home, I was determined to make this sale, well if I was getting some money in return or was offered money, you know what I'm tryna say pfft.
Mini arrived fashionably late and with her boyfriend?
Well whatever, more hands to carry it out.
Now my daughter has a problem with being too honest, that's not necessarily a problem but in this case honesty was not the best policy. She was giving away damaging testimonials like "It poos a lot, and it stinks" or how about this "It bites" and then my all time favorite "Good luck picking up that thing."  
 Now when people say children should be seen and not heard, it should be a gold standard. Here I am trying to give away something while my daughter unwinds a giant scroll of Cons.
I don't believe in child abuse per say...but.
Well to make a long blog short, after almost one complete hour in my house she didn't pick up the hedgehog, her boyfriend on the other had was smitten with the pokey thing. He was on my side, the side of let's sell this jalopy and drive it home. He picked up and was even bitten by the spikey pig, he didn't care. I told them the bites feel like pinches, that the critter is a vegetarian and has no teeth so all was well.
Of course I have no idea what I'm talking about. Just take Polly Pocket home already I'm getting tired.
She finally is ready to take her new pet home after good ol peer pressure sets in. Mini is so happy and I hope it stays that way because we don't accept returns here. If she starts talking about wanting to give it back then I'm going to look her square in the eye and say "What hedgehog?"



1 comments:

Anonymous said...

Lulu, I've been gone for a while from reading blogs and I'm back and trying to catch up. I'd forgotten what an incredible writer you are. You have such a distinct, wonderful voice.

"My daughter unwinds a giant scroll of cons..." This is so excellent. Seriously. Really sharp writing.

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