Thursday, January 30, 2014


I worked on Tuesday at the chaotic store, I met the new Pharmacy manager, she's very nice.
Very easy going, when I first got to the store everyone was quiet there wasn't that feeling like when you first walk into the Cheers bar and everyone knows your name vibe.
I also noticed this pharmacy had gone through a very much needed DE cluttering of random crap everywhere. It actually resembled a pharmacy for once.
Macy Gray's crack head cousin was there and we barely had words for one another. She was on production counting pills to her hearts delight for about the first three hours into my shift whilst I was stuck once again at the registers.
When her big ass went on break well I got in Production and there I stayed ALL NIGHT LONG.
Best shift ever.
I didn't help her ugly ass out for anything. Now she was stuck at the registers and dealing with people's crap.
The lead tech told me she may have Monday and Tuesday available for me next week.
I'm crossing my fingers.
I took Monday off from work because I knew Dragon was working.
When the Pharmacy Manager from that crazy store asked what other days was I available I didn't know what to say. I was trying to gamble and guess what days would Dragon most likely have?
I chose Wednesday, Thursday and not Friday.
Well Wednesday I get coffee at the Bakery. I'm already upset because on the drive there I saw Dragon's white Jetta sitting ominously in the parking lot.
She says Hi to me in her plastic tone and I get on Production as told to do so by her.
Catch up gets there at 10 and now the fun starts (not).
She tells him to get on Production too and to take customers from the front, I'll do drive thru and she will do Drop off and all the typing.
I feel bad for catch up because he cracks jokes and wants to talk to me and I want to talk to him too but it feels wrong to smile.
It kind of feels like you're in class and you have that one friend that's passing notes when the teachers not looking. I didn't want to get caught with the note in my hand so to speak. I didn't want Professor Dragon (Smaug) to be mad and call my attention.
We all got along somewhat okay and he and I knocked down production rather quickly.
Time went by so slowly. My head and feet hurt the whole time as I haven't been able to get new sneakers for work. I need something with support because I'm on my feet for 5-8 hours at a time with no break.
I have blisters on the bottom of all my toes.
I need new shoes.

I got looks and sighs from her and she was her usual uncaring self.
The only thing that God forgive me made my horrible workday turn around was a crazy customer she got that blew up on her in such a fashion he had to be escorted out the store by the manager and even got the police called on him although he was gone by the time they arrived.
He wanted his Rx's done but nothing was done and some things had no refills so Dragon wasn't too sympathetic to him, she has this way of talking to you like you're an errant child that would just about make Jesus throw a cup of wine in her face me thinks.
Well maybe not Jesus, but I'm sure Judas wouldn't have mind ratting her out to some Romans for no coins at all lets just say that.
It's like the more she spoke, the angrier he got, like an old version of the Hulk.
Well bottom line was he blew up on her (he went geriatric Hulk on her) telling her that she made an enemy and he didn't care if she was a woman he would beat some sense into her and he called her a racist.
He left and came back with more words for her and that's when he was escorted out.
No one should get treated like that but a small childish part of me was like Good you stupid bitch!
*sticks tongue out...blows raspberry!*
She was very upset, it was quite the show and suddenly I was grateful that this happened half an hour before I had to clock out and go home.
When I get home my neighbor hands me a package that the lovely Sarah had sent me in the post,
 a bunch of MLP swag for my Lil Miss B. and a book for me yay books! Nora Ephron's "I feel bad about my neck" which I hear is a hoot.
*stokes neck*
The package came on Tuesday love but I was working all day long so UPS gave it to my sweet lil neighbor who has terminal Cancer, the minute she saw my car she came to give me the loot.
My neighbor's hair is short now, she's doing the chemotherapy so it's falling out. On Wednesday she had a lot of color on her cheeks. I hope some miracle touches her. God Cancer is awful. My dad lived in a hospital and he did the treatment bit. I saw first hand what Cancer could do to someone's body. The hope one has right up until the very end that somehow they can pull through. I've seen both my parents die in front of me. Seeing people die does things to you. It stays with you.
I hope to never see someone I love die ever again.
I always think I'm next in line, except I'll go alone of course with my luck. I'll purge and have a heart attack and be found days later by my flamboyant building manager who will scream like the queen he is. I want to be cremated. I don't want to be in the ground.

Why are we talking about this again?

I also get my W2 on Wednesday. I will do my taxes on Friday morning. I'm scared of what my return will be like. I need to fix my car and get Insurance coverage for the year. I can't afford a car insurance policy payment every month but maybe with my Income Tax I can separate 1yrs worth of payments and do it like that?
Car still needs major Tune up and fixing of Fuel injector leak.

Today Thursday.
 My car has weird smoke coming out of muffler. It's been kind of chilly here in Miami and lots of rain which is our snow sadly, I know when it rain a lot my car spits out water from muffler, maybe that's the culprit.
I work with the other Pharmacy Manager at the crazy store, not DRAGON.
Things are going fine. I'm in production, there's another male tech there.
Ha I say male tech, because lately I hardly work with Men.
I prefer it sometimes. Male Techs can be more moody than us girls.
I like him though, he's funny and hates customers. Two traits I love!
I punch out at two and go home.
The Pharmacy Manager is asking me what to do for next weeks schedule, I tell her I don't know just yet.
I purge today lots.
I even tried to keep Brown Rice down but had to puke it up because my stomach was in so much pain I was buckled over. Felt like something was tearing inside?
Not a good day for Ed.
Maybe I tooted my own horn to soon by announcing not bp for so many days?
I'm very sad and angry and confused. I want to just isolate myself from everyone.
I'm at an all time frustration level here.
My email on Yahoo got hacked. Someone has changed all of my security questions I can't even get new password texted to my phone because they changed that number too!
 I'm so upset, I've had this email forever and now I've lost everyone's email and I can't chat anyone with anyone :(
It's upsetting. I don't know how to fix this? Do any of you know?

I do my taxes tomorrow and am just full of worry and sadness. What if I don't make enough to cover anything?

I's be lying if I said losing weight isn't on my mind.
I feel so fucking FAT and out of control.
I'm so over the comfortable weight at this point.
My clothes don't fit like before so I don't go out anymore because I don't want to be seen because everyone that knows me points out just how FAT I am now.
I'm so Depressed.
Work is difficult because of Dragon again.
 I feel stuck.
I feel miserable.
Having faith right now is hard. What does this all MEAN!?
Are you putting the right people in my life cos sometimes it feels like I'm being laughed at.
I feel like joke.
She's so nice (stupid) she doesn't know any better.
I feel so lonely lately and depressed I'm at a conflict.
A huge part of me is mad and is saying "You know something fuck this! Let's be alone! You will like this." Another part of m just wants someone to be there for me because I need to feel loved and I need compassion too. Where is my compassion? *ECHO*
I'm not strong, I just am hanging on by a few invisible threads.
I just don't know what to do or feel anymore.

So guess what happens today.
It is almost 10pm.
My phone goes off and I get a text from one of my fav Pharmacist who now works on the beach.
"Hi Lou, it's me, can you please work on Monday from 2-9pm?"
My jaw drops!
We chit chat a bit, and she will find more hours for me.
I have work on Monday and possibly more days where I won't even have to see Dragon and that awful store anymore!
So to summarize,
1) I will work with a RPH who loves my same genre of music and begs me to turn on the tunes during our shift
2) Is a total babe and sweetheart
3) Loves to teach me anything I don't know
4) Is willing to find me more hours
5) I'm a block away from MIAMI BEACH!

I don't care how much gas I gotta put I will gladly go to work at that store all the time if she allows it.

So maybe today started out bad in a sense and ended up better In another.
I'm all smiles and that's always good.

I love you all stay tuned!