Monday, April 28, 2014

Case of the Mondays

The weekend came and went all too soon I'm afraid.
What felt like a nice mini vacation is over now.
Monday morning and it's time to make the doughnuts...

On Saturday was a lovely day at the beach.
My boyfriend came to pay me a visit, I was out of the doghouse finally. According to him, I'm only crazy 10% of the relationship time, the other 90% he happily wouldn't trade for anything in this world. He wants to marry me and keep me around forever.
So my theory on being a crazy girlfriend are all unfounded. I'm not that kinda crazy yet.

I wanted to go out and catch some much needed Vitamin D this weekend.
We had a nice time with the kids at Crandon park Beach. The kids and Michael didn't want to leave.
We finally had to at Sunset because the park closes.
We then head home where the kids play with the little upstairs neighbor girl.
I have a drink with my boyfriend and don't finish it. Instead after bathing the kids and putting them to bed come into the room and lay down for the night.

My phone has been blowing up all weekend long.
It's my older brother calling me from Prison.
He calls me constantly and its sad.
I sigh and groan internally knowing its him.
It's not that I don't want to talk to him, seems like even before he went to Prison I was the only family member that even gave him the time of day.
Now it's different, now it makes me sad because he sounds so depressed. He's very miserable and sick even in there. The prison Dr. has diagnosed him with Diabetes and high blood pressure. He suffers from Migraines and has heart and liver trouble too.
Looks like he may be in there for 5 years, 3 if he's lucky...or at least that's what the lawyer thinks although he hasn't been to trial yet.
I just don't know what to say to him?
I lied to him about my weekend plans, didn't want to remind him of the life he can no longer have anymore on the outside.
He said he saw a trailer for the new X-Men movie Days of Future Past; then made a comment about how it might be a long time before he ever saw a real current movie ever again.
After about the fifth time talking to him I've run out of things to say.
It makes me want to cry if I spend too much time thinking about him and all that's happened.
He thanks me for talking to him and writing to him. He wants me at his trial when the day comes and wants me to visit and send him books through Amazon or EBay. He wants poetry books, books on Tarot and books on magic and the occult even.
I told him to hold his horses for now. When I can I'll happily do what I can but first have to take care of my kid and my bills.
My weekend was almost made sour by the fact my period is on and super heavy. I've had debilitating cramps that have left me writhing in pain. I was scared to get into the ocean for fear of attracting sharks!
No sharks came but there was an incident where a sea slug flapped in the shallow waters near me as I was building a sandcastle with my daughter.
Sea Slugs; silent slow predators of the sea...
My flow is very heavy and Saturday night I felt dizzy and lightheaded so I called it a early night.
Me sleeping? Yes, something is amiss.
In any event lived through the night although I tossed and turned because of heartburn and cramps.
Sunday morning the house is quiet, the kids aren't up yet.
When we all wake up at noon, I make breakfast and my boyfriend and I watch a movie before playing the Wii with the kids. My boyfriend stays all of Sunday with me and I couldn't be happier. Wish he would never leave.
I ate this weekend, not much but I did.
I feel stronger when He's around because I know he loves me and is always trying to make me see that I'm a good person and I look beautiful to him.
Sometimes I almost want to believe it, but I'm scared to. Ed always reminds me to never let my guard down, always keep your eye on the skinny prize.
I was fine on Sunday until I went to take the trash out and ran into my flamboyant building manager who said "You keep gaining weight!"
He said this in front of another neighbor he was talking to, all I could do was laugh and pretend it was a joke. The minute I got inside my apartment, I sat in my room and cried.
I punched myself in my stomach and cursed everything.
My boyfriend tried to reassure me to ignore it and tell me how far from fat I was but you know how that goes.
Eventually I had to let it go for the night but in the back of my mind had a game plan in effect.
I drop my daughter off at my Ex's house around 8 since she wanted to stay longer at home and enjoy family game night.
I drive to CVS and buy Midol for my cramps and other things to feed the remaining house guests.
When I get home my boyfriend gets to read a rough draft of my latest novel chapter and later we watch more movies before bed.

This Monday morning my alarm goes off and its time for work.
I have to work at the store with New Mommy Central.
I set my alarm at 8am and get ready for work. My boyfriend has to go home so I drop him off at his step dad's  Printing place and drive to Downtown. There is no traffic, the day is overcast and nice. I pray that today will be slow because I'm bloated and tired.
When I arrive at work there is no New Mommy Central but another pharmacist.
A very young Mississippi native who's just moved to Miami on Friday. She's my height, weighs about 115lbs with curly brown shoulder length hair and fair skin. I'm instantly jealous of her small thighs that don't touch and her small frame. Why can't I look like that? I remember I once did, what happened?

I introduce myself and we become fast friends.
Later on around noon New Mommy central shows up and tells me Inventory Day is postponed so she doesn't need me on Thursday, I can float at the other store I was promised to.
I also come to find out that this new country gal is my new home store pharmacist.
No more Big Gay Al?
My work husband has been banished.

Work is tough today.
I'm very tired.
I tried my best to make sure we catch up but there was so much to do.
It reminded me off first days with Dragon.
By 6:45 I'm punching out.
"Aww man, I loved working with you, don't want you to go" Country Pam tells me but I can't stay. I feel very tired I don't want to stay.
I punch out and go home.
A drink is in order tonight along with a few laxatives.
I didn't get a break today or eat more than 800 calories.
It's okay with me.
Tomorrow I work at the other Pharmacy where I park my car.
I only work for 4 hours but it's best. I'm very tired.

My apartment is quiet.
I'm restless.

I'm upset that I didn't work out but suspect that the time to myself is ideal.

So that's it for now, just another boring day with this ever expanding Lou.

Hope you all are well.
Miss talking to some and all of you.


ruby-tuesday said...

Hey Lou,

Just wanted to let you know that I am reading even though I don't always comment

I can relate to you so much. Sometimes I think that we would also become 'friends fast' if we ever met up.

Keep hanging in there Lou
I'm sending love, hope and faith your way.

Take care of you x