Thursday, September 29, 2011

Hear Ye hear Ye!

I got drunk Sunday night, Got drunk Monday night,
Tuesday new Shrink..Hmm I'll tell you about it later.
Wednesday I'm getting Drunk, so sorry I'm an awful Blogger, I'm fat and feeling like shit.
I'm crap.
I wish I could write what I'm truly feeling but I can't because I have no privacy. I wanna cry and write but I can't here.
This sucks.
I'm sorry to say this next statement and please forgive me for being so selfish, but I wish I was dead.

I wish I had the guts to end it all already, I'm sooooooo tired.
I know suicide is selfish, but sometimes I just wish I wasn't here.
Happy Tuesday and I have been talking again, since Sunday, I'm pathetic right?
I'm letting this bozo right back into my life.
I'm gonna elaborate more on Friday's Vlog about everything I promise.
I'm just going through a rough time right now with Mia, a real rough time.
I'm a failure.
I'm fat.
I'm shit.
I wish i was dead.
I'm so sorry guys, I wish I could be more upbeat or positive, but its too much.

1 comment:

Peridot (G+P) said...

I completely understand how you feel. And no, I don't think it's a selfish thing. Sadness, pain and suffering are all relative. Nobody can hold up a scale and say "You hurt XX amount, this person hurts YY amount".

I find that statements made concerning the selfishness of suicide are made by those who have never been depressed, or despaired so much they sought to end their own lives. It really pisses me off. I'd like to force those people to spend a day in OUR heads and see how well they handle it!

I think of Happy Tuesday as a kind of crutch; something to be used occasionally but put back in the garage when he's not needed :p

You are NOT a failure. Tripping over isn't failing. Falling off your bike isn't failing. Dropping a stitch isn't failing. Failing is never fucking trying in the first place, alright? You have tried and tried and tried and tried. That makes you so utterly opposite to a failure I don't even know the adjective for it.

You are not fat and you are also not shit. You will be neither of these unless you get abducted by cannibals. (Who will spend a damn long time trying to feed you up before turning you into stock :p)

I hope the rest of your day went a little better. If not, you have full reason to say "Fuck this shit!" and spend the weekend lying in a bathtub with naked manslaves massaging you and bringing you champagne.

(If you do that, can I come too? I miss living in a place with a bath!)

Love you <3

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