Blah

My daughter is feeling better.
The meds are helping and she should be able to return back to school Thursday.
My husband took another day off from work.
He's in a good mood today. He can't stop talking about my move.
He says he'll help me move and paint, fix up the apartment and help me find furniture.
He's all too eager to help.
My daughter is excited to move, it's all she talks about.
I've been purging things from my apartment that I can't take with me.
My kitchen appliances are all useless, they are all riddled with roaches, I can't even salvage the microwave.
The roaches have infested everything I own. I have to disinfect the things that I do keep. So far less is more and that's okay, it's just stuff and stuff is easily obtainable.
When I first moved to this apartment all I had was a mattress and a box or two of important keepsakes and photo albums.
Over the years I've come up again. So I know no matter what happens I always land on my feet again.
I've also read somewhere after any major breakup it's always good to have a total makeover. Get new stuff, a new look, and outlook.
I think I'll do this.
New things, new way of thinking and a new look.
I'm just waiting on my appointment from Housing to discuss my income so my rent amount can be determined.
Things seem to be going great.

My Eating Disorder is trying to take my happiness away.
My weight is all I can think about.
I've been eating more and trying to be okay with it, but it's hard.
Eating food is hard.
I keep telling myself it's okay to gain weight, it's okay to maintain.
You don't look bad, you're not obese.
I'm trying but I can't help but feel miserable after each thing I eat.
The more miserable I feel, the more I just want to get away from everyone I know. I just want to be alone.
What is that thing inside me that wants to keep dropping more and more weight?
When will it ever be enough?
I'm trying to restrict again, just eat what I can and no more.
Eating feels wrong to me, food makes no sense.
Nothing I eat is ever what I actually want anyways.

I'll keep trying, but I'm afraid my mood may sour with each passing day.
I don't want to isolate myself but maybe I should.