News

So CVS is a bust..maybe?
Idk what's going on but I'll give you the latest and see if you can make sense of it.

Here we go, text my friend to see what's going on with Drug Test.
She tells me the manager that was in charge of my hiring, has apparently taken a Vacation.
My friend tells me to call the lab and ask for my results, after I call they obviously tell me that they can't give out that info, if I wanna know then I have to contact Employer.
Great.

I relay the news to my friend and she says she's worried, that the silence is killing her.
Oh lordy, Calgon take me away.

I don't know what to make of this, all I can do is feel sorry for myself and cry because I have no idea what in the world is going on, feel like my life is being held hostage.

I feel like Bp, was honestly thinking about just giving up.
I felt like here I was trying to be good and getting my hopes up imagining a different version of my life and for what?

My cats need food and so I head out to Publix with change that I've managed to scuffle up.
It's really hot out.
I have a banana and a shake before I go, I bring water with me to sip along the way.
I'm towing my lil cart and Umbrella for shade.
On the way there I run across three stray cats who are so exhausted from heat they are laying dead center in the sidewalk not bothering to run from my noisy cart.
Nearby is an empty Tupperware bowl which I assume is for food or water. I fill up the rectangular plastic container with ice cold water, this heat is a lot, I can just imagine how thirsty they must be.

I'm in the aisle with the cat food and pondering what brand I can afford, undecided I grab a bag to inspect further, the bag has a huge hole on the bottom and seafood flavored fishes spill everywhere. The sound felt deafening.
My face is red with embarrassment, I grab the next bag on the shelf and high tail it out of aisle 8.
I'm wandering the aisles thinking about bp, should I shouldnt' I?
I grab orange juice and a pack of meat instead, my daughter comes home tomorrow, I'll cook for her instead and fight off these urges for one more day.
I decide to not bp after all.
On my way home I start to feel really flushed, sweat is dripping like a steam from the top of my head, I feel lightheaded and eventually dizzy.
I'm almost home, one more street to cross.
My legs start to buckle under me and everything around me starts to dim, I get scared and sit down immediately on the sidewalk.
I have no more water, it's so hot out.

An Ice cream truck is slowly passing by and suddenly stops in front of me, I slowly raise my head and stare ahead, I can hardly hear the words being uttered by the Ice cream man.
He's asking if I'm okay.
I tell him I feel dizzy, maybe my sugar is low, I don't know exactly.
The kind man hands me a cold soda.
I sip it slowly and feel better immediately. The Ice cream man waits for the color to come back in my face before leaving. He rides along next to me keeping up with my pace. I cross the final street and manage to head home in one piece.

I've had egg beaters today, scrambled with lots of pepper and onion powder.
I eat it very slowly, the minute the meal is done, the panic starts.
Fifteen minutes of turmoil before the full feeling subsides and I'm okay. The food is kept down and everything is fine.

My sister just called a little while ago, there is some bad news.
My nephews father is in the hospital and not doing well at all, we suspect Cancer.
He's kept this illness a secret from the kids, but now I think it's the end.
He's calling to talk to them and is hardly audible.
My nephews are distraught as is my poor sister. Everyone is at a standstill waiting to hear back on his condition.
I tell my sister its time she comes down and the kids say their goodbye in person.
My sister doesn't want to attend his funeral, I tell her I'll go say my goodbyes too, she won't be alone.
Death has always been so profound in my family, seems like every year we lose someone else. You'd think we'd be numb to it but we're not.
My sister and I have always taken it the hardest, I worry for my nephews.
I was a mess after my father died, I wish I could spare them that pain.

So that's it for now, looks like it's going to be a long night, the tears have started already in Orlando, wish I could be there for my family who lives so far away.

Day 25 no bp.
Hope I can make the month.

Nite
L.