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Thursday, March 31, 2011

Drained

                                                                                         Mood:Tired




I'm real tired today.
I'm in bed now with the world's worst migraine.
I've taken plethora of pills and nothing is helping me.
I'm slowly sipping water and ate a banana for sugar. I'm sleepy but the sleep never comes, I close my eyes and the endless chatter begins, so many voices, so many worries and problems all coming at me. I sleep for minutes at a time and dream awful things about death and things wanting to harm me.
All I've had today is the fruit and the coffee. I may do a shake before I attempt to workout. I feel so drained of all energy.
Not eating takes alot out of you.
I'm at 109.8 today; I don't know if that will last or not?
April will be here soon and then I can really get this weight off.
My daughter will be home from school soon and then I have no idea where I will find the energy to care for her. I wish I could just have quiet, why is there so many voices in my head today, sounds like an auditorium of people, everyone talking over one another. Images in my head of things that have happened, an instant replay that is stuck on a loop.
I think the depression is trying to come back as my eyes water for no reason.
Tomorrow we will talk more, I have to drag myself out of bed and pretend for my daughter now.

4 comments:

zette said...

i'm sorry you're so low today, darling. i hope the migraine leaves soon&gets replaced with energy. hang in there. fingers crossed for you to feel better.
xoxo
zette

mags said...

I'm sorry about the depression. Trust me, I know. Try to drag yourself out before it pulls you in too deep. You can do this, Lou.

Peridot (G+P) said...

Oh holy FUCK I lost the last comment coz I pulled the internet cord out while chasing some ginger-and-white piece of SHIT outta my house. Reconstruction time:

*Careful hugs* Migraines BLOW, I hope it passes in time for you to enjoy time with Miss.B and have a good weekend. Did the painting help?

I'm such an idiot! I can do depression and ED ramble videos and have them UNLISTED so they don't shot up in you youtube feed for work/uni people to get their grubby paws on. *Facepalm* Imma tard!

I'll totally send you some Salmonella Dub when I concoct some sort of summery scarf. They're one of my favourite Kiwi bands. Christchurch REPRESENT! It's also great travelling music.

Have a great weekend, gorgeous! Pericorn AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! XD

unbeautiful said...

I hope your migraine went away and you are feeling better (depression included!)