Thursday, December 2, 2010

Cold Front


Its 56 degrees here in Miami, and for the first time in a long time, I'm loving it.
The cats are small furry bundles on the bed and I'm walking around with the sniffles and laryngitis.

These cramps are still around and mean as ever, the cold doesn't help there, but thanks to this weather I can walk around with gloves and a turtle neck and get away with it hehehe..
I have the humidifier on to help with my sinuses. The dizziness is still with me in small increments, the vertigo comes and goes.
I've already worked out once at 5:30 this morning and had my supps and banana, I think there is something to this breakfast thing after all..
I'm still trying to figure out what finally got me losing again after being stuck at 115 for so long, I'm grateful, but I want to make sure I can duplicate that success in case another plateau looms on the horizon.
I've taken a Sea Kelp tablet instead of my usual Green Tea supp. I want to see how long before any weight loss is exhibited. I know there will probably be a delay, since the PMS is here, but I'm confident this week will fly by and I should return to my normal sunny self..
Last night was a calm one, I b/p 1x which was pretty good considering how many times I'd usually go at it.
I was able to catch up on blogs and chat online with friends and family. The depression took a back seat to the flu. I literally laid back and rested..

This weather is making me cheery, I never thought that day would come. I hope this positivity sticks around.
My husband goes back to work today, so that means more Mia.
I dropped my daughter off at school, she is enjoying this weather too, mittens and hats and Ugg boots just like mommy. She loves it when we have the same thing, whether its shoes, hats or anything else, I think it makes her feel more grown up, it gives me the opposite effect, makes me feel younger and carefree.
The school was in disarray, parents everywhere trying to hurry up and get out of the cold, kids in sweaters and sweatpants. The annoying crossing guard who has no idea how to direct traffic, crowding the intersection, cold and overwhelmed.
I found a parking space in front of the school and quickly dashed across the street kid in tow. My crush was there, a nice start to the morning. The reason why I now take extra care in my appearance.
He's wearing his uniform, a blue polo shirt with school logo and khaki pants (all staff wear uniforms) a large brown leather jacket, and his usual casual converse that always seem to match whatever color shirt he has on that day. The baby blue shirt looks nice on him, the color compliments his almond complexion. He has a new haircut too, this one I'm not feeling as much, too low for my taste.
As I'm crossing the street, I can see him making his way closer to the entrance. He's trying to pretend to not stare at me.
I'm in all black tight fitting clothing, my Ugg boots on for warmth. My hair is washed and I'm beaming with this weather. My pale skin is thriving in this cold, the monthly disaster hasn't ravished it yet. My rosy blush is now visible more than ever.
I say goodbye to my daughter and he says hello to her, she knows him of course.
She gives a shy smile and heads up the stairs while I wait outside and make sure all is okay.
"This weather is very nice, eh?" he says in that accent that I love. Reminds me of a cross between Antonio Banderas and Ricky Ricardo, minus the bongos.
So we make small talk and he asks about my relationship status..
Ah here we go, the complicated question I dread that scares and confuses men away.
I tell him its complicated, but we're in the process of calling it quits..again.
I explain all of this in a low voice, he leans in closer to me so that our warm bodies are touching, he smells of soft cologne.
His smile is huge and he begins to understand that I won't be so easy to obtain, and that its a shame. I get that a lot. Its the look of a car or a pair of shoes, something you really want and are so sure you can afford, then you look at the price tag and its just shy of what you can afford.
"So you not dating?" he tries again, hopeful and still smiling.
I tell him no. I can't.
I'm not at that point yet where I'm together enough to let someone in, and I need to do me first, otherwise the next person who I'll want to really be with will just get to have me in pieces, they won't really know me, as currently I don't even know me anymore. I want to get better, to be "cured" whatever that means. I want this above all.
Sure he's very cute, but he won't be the last to cross my path.
He is very understanding, he thinks that as a soon to be single mother again, its very wise and mature of me to put my daughter and self first.
So its time to go back home now. He looks a little disappointed, but I'm sure he'll be just fine. A school full of mothers, I'm sure someone else will catch his eye.
I drive to the bakery for fresh hot bread, I'm already thinking about the binge.
I'm thinking of hot soup and toast, tea or coffee.
I'm wishing it was time for my still sick husband to leave for work.

I have ANTM recorded, going to watch that later along with the VS fashion show. I'm so happy Ann won, I was rooting for her. I think she's beautiful, I'd love to be that tall!
Gotta love a 6'2 girl with an 18 inch waist and skinny as a twig-nice!


Avani said...

Love the pics. I'm glad you're feeling so happy!

Elle said...

Just stumbled upon your blog! I see that your goal weight is 90 lbs *gasp*. Don't go there. Congrats on losing the weight from 212 lbs, but I think you've reached a point where you should learn to accept yourself.

I wish you many blessings despite the hard times you may be facing.


Dylphe said...

so happy you're feeling cheery, i love those days.
hey even if guy and you don't progress anywhere and you won't do anything in that area of life for a while at least you know you're hot shit (which you are!!!) and could pull if you wanted

Thin_Envy said...

at least your plateaus are at 115 i seem to be plateauing at 130, we're of similar height im wondering what you do to over come the plateau? Ive never been this heavy or had this problem before and it seems you have done amazing in your weight loss, just curious if you have any suggestions?

lou said...

I started by eating a banana a day early in the am, then I workout in the am too, just lite exercise.
I'm taking green tea and sea kelp tabs for metabo boost too.
Try that and good luck!

*Broken* said...

I´m really glad you´re in this cheery mood =)
It is very mature of you to want to get better before you start dating,I´d do the same thing.
Omg that waist is so tinyyy, I´m in love xD

lou said...

Yes Cheery mood today and I'd kill for that girl's waist!