Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Angry woman blogging

I'm defrosting a chicken while folding laundry and cleaning up the house.
I have the Delfonics ♫ ♪
streaming in the background, and now I have to help my kid with her homework and her sight words.
Sight words are simple words like "the, is, and he, that" etc, these are words to get my daughter ready to read.
I am wonder woman with an Ed.
Oh did I mention that I'm sick and on my period. I'm doing all of this while my husband does nothing but sit on his flat ass and read his daily devotional.
Just because you read that book everyday doesn't make you any more of a Christian than me standing in a garage makes me a car!
I wish he would put to practice the lessons that the book teaches.
I hate that I have to do everything. I want to workout, I want to read too, I have a book that's due Friday back at the library, no two books!
Its like there is not enough time in the fucking day for me. I'm a little irate as you can see, I'm baking chicken and making fresh rice. I haven't b/p at all today.
I haven't even weighed if you can believe that. I've been drinking water and green tea all day. I'm triggered now and have no release. Everyone can just eat, I can't. I can't sit down and enjoy anything. I can't even work out because my husband who refuses to go anywhere on his days off unless I tag along is here. My daughter got Red today so he can't even take her to the park. Her teacher says she would not pay attention in class today at all, the poor underpaid woman was visibly frustrated. I know the feeling sister!
 I'm pissed.
I've been up since six am.
This morning I was taken shopping, apparently me walking around in huge clothes has finally caught my husband's attention. I was able to buy clothes that actually fit me. It was refreshing to go into a store and know for certain that a size 2 fits. I even bought a size 0 jeans that I'll hold onto for a personal goal. I got a lot of cute clothes, bras and tiny undies too.
I'm tired, this headache will not go away. I feel really bad today. I need a hug.
I just want to lay down in the quiet for a few hours and sleep all this frustration away. I'm trying my hardest to not be a bitch, to not get snappy. Its hard to do that when you have a trigger around you for the next three days.
I'm not gonna cave, I wish I could, my god you have no fucking idea how good my cooking smells, but I won't. Its hard and its torture and I guess I deserve it. I feel like I deserve to just suffer.
Grr this sucks!
I bought two more lax today, I'm going for it Wednesday night.
My body is all tingly today too, that means I'm dehydrated, been drinking water though so I'm hoping this shit goes away, it reminds me of that awful day with the paramedics.
I'm sorry for the crap blog today, I need to vent. No one else goes through this here, everyone has normal problems caused by society, not self inflicted ones like I do. I have to run around again tomorrow, I hope I feel a little better. Why is fasting so hard today? I've gone ten days once, three days tops.
Why is today so difficult, is it because I haven't weighed? I don't want to though, I need to lay off of that, it messes my whole day up.
Now I have to feed the cats they are nibbling on my toes in protest. If they could talk I'm sure they'd say feed us or we'll snitch on what you do when that man's not around..
I need to go.
Enjoy the rest of Tuesday lovelies, I'll try to get this craving under control.


*Broken* said...

You shouldn´t have to do all things by yourself, it´s not fear, there´s another adult in the house and he should help you. It´s understandable that you´r pissed off.
I hope the night ends up ok,the day is almoust over, ermember that sweetie.

Kat said...

Sorry about your husband, that would bug me too. I hope your able to fast foe the rest of the day and that things get better.



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