Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Turkey Day Eve

My turkey was a big hit at my daughter's school.
I did a fine job carving it last night thanks to this video.
My daughter's teacher would like me to email her the recipe. All the kids gobbled up the moist bird, there were hardly any leftovers I was told. As a matter of fact there was a mom who donated a ham, and no one touched it!
Ha ha I win!
I know just the mom too, she is this very posh, snobby looking woman. She loves to wear all white clothing and don huge Aviator sunglasses. Her daughter constantly fidgets and she always calls her attention and tells her to stand up straight. I bet she didn't even cook that ham, probably bought it from Whole foods or something. I'm glad everyone enjoyed it and that I didn't lose any digits in the carving process.
I saw my crush this morning at school, he held the door open for me and told me my bird smelled good. He couldn't wait to try some. I offered to feed him a piece if he wanted to try it before I headed inside, you should have seen the look on his face. He turned crimson. I was trying to be friendly, he declined of course, that wouldn't look good on his part, he's working and not suppose to be socializing, or being fed for that matter. I made him nervous for once instead of the other way around. I smiled at him and thanked him for the compliment. I wonder what his plans for tomorrow are?
He seems like the big family get together type. Hope he has a nice holiday. I wish that for everyone, holidays feel so sad for me. Maybe its because of the situation I'm in, I just don't feel love behind things, only obligation. I miss my sister and she lives so far away. My brothers are all scattered, everyone is separate doing their own thing, we really don't resemble a Norman Rockwell painting at all.

"Freedom From Want"
Norman Rockwell

Well its the day before Binge O' Rama aka Thanksgiving. I won't even try to fight Mia off tomorrow, who am I kidding. I'll just get the day over with and try to relax with a glass of wine at the end of the night. I have so much to cook, but first have to run to the store and stock up on forgotten items, hope the market isn't too crowded, I detest long lines.

What's on the menu?
Baked Mac and Cheese
Mashed Potatoes
White Rice
Black Bean Soup
Stuffin Muffins
Green beans
Polka dot Cake with rainbow Sprinkles and Neapolitan Ice Cream
Cranberries (fresh berries, not that insane can log)
Fresh Rolls

So far that's it, but you know how it is once you're inside the store, I may crave other things and end up baking a pie or grabbing a Ham, who knows. Mia's been having her way lately and shitty as she is, I'm a little more calm when I don't fight her off. I feel incredibly sick and drained, but I'm a little less evil and worrisome.
Messed up as it is, I'm looking forward to cooking, its relaxes me. I put so much love and effort into the meals and everyone always enjoys it. Makes me feel appreciated, even though its just me slaving over a hot stove all day.
I plan to post plenty of food porn so don't say you weren't warned!
My oldest brother came to see me today before he leaves to Orlando with my niece tomorrow, we talked for a little bit and then he was off. He seemed tired, maybe the time away would do him some good. I'm sure he's very sad and misses his wife, the house must feel so cold without her there.
I would do the same, escape if I could, there's always Christmas..
I want this month to be over with already, wonder when this plateau will finally be gone and I can focus on losing again instead of maintaining. I feel like November has come and gone and nothing.
Its frustrating.
I just really want to start the next year differently, new place, maybe a job, no husband, and maybe some insurance. Definitely want to be at my goal weight for sure, I'm curious to see I will be satisfied finally.

This reminds me of a quote I posted on my Tumblr recently..

"89lbs. I could say I'm excited, but that would be a lie.
The number doesn't matter. If I got down to 70lbs, I'd want 65lbs.
If I weighed 10lbs, I wouldn't be happy until I got down to 5lbs.
The only number that would ever be enough is 0.
Zero pounds, zero life, size zero, double-zero, zero point.
Zero in tennis is Love. I finally get it."

                                            "Wintergirls" by Laurie Halse Anderson