Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Baking and Binging


Dropped my daughter off at school and came home to bake a turkey. Tomorrow is the Thanksgiving Feast at her school and I'm the designated Cook. One large turkey for 24 hungry little children and one short Kindergarten teacher.
I also have to carve this bird and I have no idea how the heck to do that?
This turkey may not look like a turkey when I get done carving it.
I feel very sleepy today, I've been awake since 5am. The first thing on my mind was breakfast. I wanted to b/p as soon as possible-not good.

Instead I came home and crawled back in the bed.
I actually fell asleep for three more hours, it was nice, too nice, I didn't want to get back up.
The bird is in the oven now and the smells emanating from the oven are driving me crazy. I'm incredibly irritable because I want to b/p but my husband is here and says he goes to work at 6pm!
I suck my teeth in protest as he says this, I just want to be alone. I start to get snappy, slamming cupboards and drawers, and chopping vegetables loudly.

I can see from the corner of my eye my husband is squirming in his seat. An angry 115lb woman with a knife in her hand can't be good.
Its the afternoon and time for my daughter to come home from school, hubby goes and gets her while I suffer in silence.
He drops her off and starts to get ready for work earlier than intended. My tantrum worked. Finally he is gone!
Now I can relax.
I've lost count how many times I've b/p today-too many, and they keep getting later and later. I keep getting faster and more efficient at the ritual. Reminds me of when I first started, except then I had the euphoria afterwards, where as now the euphoria is replaced with satisfaction that I'm positive its all out.
I'm drained, lightheaded and sleepy.
No dizzy spells yet, but I suspect by the time this accursed holiday has passed they will return. This is going to be a looooong weekend!
I've already racked up on lax and water pills. My niece is not coming over for Thanksgiving, so it will just be my husband and daughter, oh and the cats.
I can safely continue to b/p all weekend long. I'm also going to drink and smoke.
I'm going to be incredibly naughty and hopefully alive lol.
I'm freezing today, my only comfort is the basting of the turkey, the heat from the oven is a aromatic instant heater for me. Of course that meant the turkey took twice as long to make but eh, at least its finally done.

I'm going to look online now and try to see methods on how to carve this thing, I don't wanna ruin the bird, there are children expecting something edible and well all kids eat with their eyes first so I'll try to not make it look like mush.
Thank you for all the comments on my earlier post, I'm trying to leave him absolutely, have some things in place that I'm trying out, if they work out then when I do finally leave him, it will be a safe and fast way out.
It won't be painless, but nothing in this life ever is..
Wish me luck that I don't lose a finger carving the turkey and bleed all over it!