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Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Positive

                                                                                             Mood:Hopeful


Every worthwhile accomplishment, big or small, has its states of drudgery and triumph; a beginning, a struggle and a victory. - Ghandi


I think there's somethings to this not weighing yourself in the morning.
I feel really good and positive today.
If I would've weighed by now and the number was up or down than that would just set the tone for the whole day. Except sometimes the number could be down and still I would be miserable because of the fear of gaining it back. I've become a yo-yo of emotions. I'm tired of the scale being my master. I want a say in how the day will go, not the number projected on the digital screen.
OK yesterday was a bust, I weighed after my shower. 115lbs still-plateau.
Today though I won't, I think I'm doing fine. I'm in a great mood also because I didn't b/p at all, and I worked through the craving by reading, spending time with my kid and working out like a maniac.
My insurance should be kicking in soon and I'm ready to get my life back, one problem at a time. I'm ready to be done with Mia too.
I'm sick of my teeth hurting, and my hair falling out (again!) and feeling like I'm having an affair with the toilet bowl. I feel like I reek of puke despite all the perfume and mouthwash and gum, I know I smell! How could you not? My knees and back hurt from being hunched over continuously throughout the day purging. I'm ready to cut way back on that. I getting tired.
So here I go day two no Bulimia.
Day one was heading in the right direction despite the ol' ball and chain setting me off, but I did manage to work through that and he apologized profusely. I drank a lot of water yesterday and had a banana when I was hungry.
This morning I woke up invigorated. I got dressed in clothing that actually fits and got my daughter ready for school. I feel pretty today and that almost never happens. I told my sister this in the morning and she would like a picture of the happy camper, who knows I may upload it on this blog if I'm not too hideous. Stay Tuned..
Took supps and got the liquids ready and rearing to go for the day.

Cinnamon Infused Vanilla Protein Shake (55cals), Water, Tea

If I'm hungry I'll have more bananas. I know some frown on that fatty fruit, (105 calories for a medium size) but I could use the potassium. I don't mind eating that of all things, I know the benefits outweigh the fears. Besides I work out throughout the day so 100 cals can be burned off through a number of routines. After all this is how the rest of humanity does it, eat and burn it off, not eat and throw it up!
The tingly feeling caused by dehydration is gone completely. I'm really pleased with myself that I'm able to drink water finally, I needed to, who knows may help me boost up metabolism. I used to love drinking water, I don't know how that went sour but my guess is the wiring getting short circuited in my brain, that or the fact I'm sure its shrunk in size as its suppose to when you starve yourself. The brain and heart are muscles, starve yourself and those things in addition to all your muscle mass are the first to shrink in size. Can you imagine the mindset of my smaller brain, not much to worry about except the essentials.
I don't have to cook today, I have plenty of leftovers to feed my little family. I have two books that are almost finished as they go back to one of my favorite places ever Friday-The Library. I believe I can make it today too. Plenty of liquids to stuff me up so no thoughts of caving.
I'll try to see if I can go the whole day without weighing. So far Wednesday is looking as sunny as the current temperature outside here in Miami.
Enjoy the rest of the day readers and thank you for all the comments, its nice to not hear an Echo! in blogger land.

4 comments:

MissMisery said...

Glad to see someone else is with me :) Have a good day.

*Broken* said...

I´m so glad you´re feeling pretty and happy =)
Your day will be great, enjoy it!

lou said...

Thanks girls ;)

Bella said...

Yay for positive! I am in love with this post. I want to make love to it. It is such a wonderful, wonderful post.
Keep it up, you're like fucking superwoman.
x