Gobble Gobble

                                                                                      Mood:Depressed
Here we are..
Thanksgiving.
Happy Thanksgiving to those who actually like this holiday, for me not so much.
I've been up since 6am.
I'm tired, sleepy and my throat is raw.
I've been cooking all day, on my feet. My husband is a rock, parked on the couch. A huge immovable object, my magnet.
He is my biggest trigger and I hate it. I can't stand the sight of him, I wish he would just go already, he's off of work tomorrow too unfortunately ugh!
I've b/p too many times today, he's giving me looks and making little slick comments under his breath. He's drinking, and drinking makes him feel like a big man. I'm tired of being cooped up in this house with him. I need a break.
The angrier and more hopeless I feel, the more I want to b/p.
I'm so tired you have no idea. I want to just go to bed and its not even 8pm yet. My throat really hurts, I want to have a drink.
I can unwind with alcohol sometimes, but then I start to think that I'd be drinking alone and I have no one to talk to. I don't think drinking is enjoyable anymore, not like that at least.
This Thanksgiving is so depressing, I wish I were somewhere else, somewhere far away, even if it was a random place filled with strangers.
I feel like crying.
I wish it were Saturday already, maybe then I could feel better somewhat.
No food porn, too busy eating it all to take pictures of it.
Not looking forward to tomorrow at all.
I'm going to bed, I can't take this awful day anymore.
Sorry for the depressing post..
Nite all!