111 for now..

                                                                                        Mood:Tired
So today was a surprise, I actually stayed at 111lbs-no fluke, actual weight loss.
I'm pretty happy as you can imagine, I actually lost with no lax help at all.
I guess these pills are sort of working.
Yes I'm still b/p but the number is lower than usual. I've actually lost a pound with no treadmill either hmm?
So today was a pretty calm day. I ran errands with my husband.
I couldn't find an Urn, so we've decided to go to a funeral parlor instead and start scouting prices. We both agreed that my uncle deserves a nice proper Urn to have his ashes rest.

I went to various Thrift stores today and found everything else but what I needed.

A workout DVD still sealed for only 1$, hope it's good. Something to do in the meantime the treadmill is being repaired. I've never been the jumping in front of a Tv type, but desparate times call for desparate measures. The company that's fixing it called to tell me that the motor is being ordered and a chip that got burned from the motherboard too. Maybe the end of the this week if not the next. I found some books but not The Scarlet Letter, so Dylphe if you're serious about letting me have one of your copies that would be awesome, don't forget the autograph.

Found some computer game Cd Roms for kindergarten and first graders, my daughter loves the computer, she can manage it better than my husband, he doesn't even know what Yahoo is.

I got some jeans size 1, ooh they fit! I got two other pairs of jeans from the kids section. I feel proud needing such small clothing, I don't care how many looks I get. One good thing about smaller sizes, cheaper too.

My daughter keeps going on and on about getting her teacher something. She also told me that her teacher gets frustrated and yells at the class when they start getting unruly. Today in one of the stores I found a green glass apple that's actually a bell. The minute I saw it I knew it would be perfect, she could keep it on her desk and ring it loudly to call the class to order instead of shouting. I've wrapped it up and hope to give it to her tomorrow in person.

I also found the Shea butter, hope it works, its for all sorts of things. My daughter has eczema so it helps with that too.

At the school now, and my daughter's teacher comes out very excited waving me down. I was distracted momentarily by my crush who was giving me looks.

He looks extra cute today. I hate that there is this odd thing between us, if I were a different type of person, if I had more confidence I would pursue him. I'm not though.

The very bubbly teacher proceeds to tell me that whatever it is I'm doing at home is working because my daughter has improved so much in class. My daughter has improved so much the teacher gave her an award, and its the first one like that she's ever given out in her class to date!

My daughter is a genius. So here is the award on the fridge till I can find a frame for it, and yes its pasted next to my Thinspro.



I had to make dinner so we headed to a little market that was near the school, I decided to make Steak and Eggs and Funnel cakes for dessert. My husband was off today and binging in front of him was gonna happen. He said nothing to me after I made two trips to the bathroom to purge. I was as quiet as possible, even faked a shower for the second one. I guess even though he ignores it, I feel embarrassed and ashamed for doing it. I wonder what my life would be like if I were to stay with my husband, would he always turn a blind eye to my Ed. Would he always enable me, up to what point?

Very dangerous to ignore Mia, the thing will only get bigger. The appetite is insatiable. How many years of this can I do before something inside me finally says no more, will I be at the weight I wish, or will there be no goal weight anymore. I finished b/p for the day 2x, lower that the numbers from last month, but still no zero. Quitting cold turkey is not going to happen. That's just not realistic.

 We ate the dinner I made and watched movies the rest of the night.

I didn't have powdered sugar for the cakes so I had to sprinkle Splenda and Cinnamon on them, they still were good. I had two steak and egg sandwiches at first, then decided on a third, god how awful it was to bring it back up. There are a ton of leftovers I'm afraid, I always make too much food.

My head is pounding, at least I was able to get it all out, my weight is now 111.2 because I'm drinking water, I feel like I have to pee all the time now. I don't know if it is the pills that are making me feel like this or not, but so annoying. I hope I'm not getting some kind of infection, my lower back is hurting on my left, kidneys?

I've been rubbing alcohol on it, hope this pain goes away.

I couldn't inquire about the bank today, maybe tomorrow if I'm up to it. I haven't been sleeping so I hope to try to sleep in some.

I'm pretty tired now and my back is killing me. I think I'll shower and call it a night. I hope my weight goes down some more, I'd love to be 110 already. Can a pound a day loss be possible?

Here's hoping.

Night to you all.