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Monday, October 4, 2010

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                                                                                           Mood:Calm
So today I am at 132lbs..
I'm very close to leaving the 130's. I am quite surprised by it actually, I look back at the past two months and it seemed like it took forever to finally get out of each milestone. I think it was because I was too distracted, got caught up and sidetracked. If I'd stuck to my goal instead of investing time in other matters, then maybe 132 would've been here faster. Well now I know better, that won't ever happen again. I need to do me because in the end people come and go, but you're stuck with you forever.
Had to pay a speeding ticket today, wasted half the morning at the courthouse.
Today was also grocery day, couldn't go, had other more important errands to run, tomorrow looks like more of the same.
So I'm still debating the cleanse, I want to do it properly, I think I will try to find the right ingredients and try again for another ten days. I'm worried about the dizziness, the last time the cleanse may have contributed to its intensity.
If I find the proper syrup and salt then I will give it another go. I just don't want to be running around Miami looking for Grade B Maple Syrup and Sea Salt. Who am I kidding? I will be running around looking for it.
I can't give into Mia 100%-it's too exhausting.
B/p today 3x..the number keeps going up again. I can't let it get out of control  like it did awhile back.
My jaw hurts and so do my teeth. I'm so sleepy and have zero energy. I had to push myself to get on the treadmill today.
I want to get out of the 130's already, so close I can see it. My back is killing me, I feel the workout on my shoulders too, its a little bit smaller and tighter back there so I guess that's the trade off.
I am Googling my butt off trying to find this syrup-Ah Whole Foods!
I hope it doesn't cost too much?
My head hurts just thinking about the long drive in the morning sun. I'm going to try and make the effort to find what I need. Maybe I can then finally be rid of Mia for a bit.
The dizzy spell is back now as I'm trying to type..I'm glad, I was craving and this will remind me to stay put. My chest is stinging now, my mouth is dry, haven't had much liquid in there, the phobia of gain and water or anything is too much.
Gotta try to drink something at least, the dehydration can be fatal. I don't want to be hospitalized.
I need rest, a day away somewhere. I'm so tired. When will I have a good day?
Maybe soon I hope.
Off to bed, time to listen to this exhausted carcass when it says its tired.

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