Tuesday, October 26, 2010

No more

Its not even 10pm and I've already run out of things to do.
I gave into Mia's demands today and b/p 2x. I'm exhausted. I can't anymore today. After a great workout, the craving is unbearable.
I've gone over homework with my daughter, bathe and put her to bed. Cleaned the entire house and managed to do laundry. I have tea steeping now and I'm even drinking 32 ounces of water in addition to the 32 from this morning.

I'm no longer H20 intolerant..
I haven't even changed from my workout gear, I think I need to do more crunches in a minute. I'm also freezing!
I can't b/p again, too much hassle. I have a bad strain on my left shoulder from going at it too much lately. It literally hurts to move that arm. My knuckles are raw, the scabs aren't healing as quickly as before. Tomorrow my husband is off from work, so that means no b/p for sure. Stupid Mia just reminds me why I should just give it my all tonight.
I hate this!
Haven't taken any water pills or OEP today, no lax since Saturday. I'm trying to be good but its so hard. The night seems like the hardest lately.
Feel so triggered now. I may have to resort to Chew and Spit just to shut that dam Mia up. Ugh hate c/s so gross. I spoke to two of my brother's today who scolded me for not drinking water. The oldest referred to my Ed as a diet? Hmm I forget, what's the name of that river in Egypt?
He also wants to know if I will be coming with him to spend Thanksgiving at my sister's house in Orlando. I don't know what I wanna do yet?
It could go a lot of ways. I could go and not eat in which case I have to explain myself and get lectured. I could go and b/p which I don't want to do at all.
Or I could stay and do my own Thanksgiving dinner here. The truth is I would like to go, it would be nice to get out of Miami for a bit. I'd like to see my sister and nephews, and my crazy uncle who smokes too much. I would like to go with just my daughter, leave the ol' ball n chain at home. I don't know if he would go for that though, he's been on me like fleas on a dog lately. We're going to have to talk tomorrow. He's so sensitive, I have to tread lightly.
The holidays are nothing but open invitations of sabotage for Mias. Every stupid holiday involves food, its ridiculous. November turkey, December candy canes and cookies, not to mention that god awful fruitcake. I don't eat that, but in a bind who knows..
January the sweets and shit continue. February Boo love! and chocolates galore.
March and April are more candy infused Easter Mania. May is for Mother's Day and that means breakfast in bed. June and July forget it, dam burgers and hot dogs for summer. August means back to school and time to get kid's lunches done everyday. September and October are the same thing, fall foods and goodies. There isn't a safe day in the whole year. I may have to resort to hiding out in a bomb shelter for a decade and come back out when food finally comes in pill form and will be easier to purge.
I think I need to workout, shower and possibly c/s on something that's not going to drive me insane. Maybe apples and cinnamon?
If that doesn't help, Ipod on volume up and blast Massive Attack, Tricky or Portishead till the craving goes away.


annaxoskinnyxo said...

Ugh, I had some horrible cravings earlier, too. We need to come up with some better ways to fight them. :/
Stay superstrong <3

Lola said...

I'm so relieved you are going to stay hydrated!

Water is the easiest way to perk up your metabolism,

Anonymous said...

<3 I hope you feel better soon!

bonesarepure said...

glad u decided to drink u need to drink if ur throwin gup as much as u say u are
and "the host" love that book
y dont u go to thranksgiving and jsut eat a lil dont not eat and dont eat somuch that u thrwo up